Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Of Thank Yous' and further thoughts~~~~

Hello My Darklings,

Dear Underground for Tea, Rebecca and all of you who expressed kind thoughts about the loss of our brother, Thank You to all of you.

Yes, even now years later the loss is painful but now we’ve come to accept that, I feel that it was the religious faith my parents and family members had and instilled into us that to each of our lives there is pain. That all of life is a learning lesson, we cannot learn if we do not struggle, we cannot appreciate the joys unless we also have the losses.

Mother would look to the “Sorrows of Mary” to understand the pain a parent must go through, if more people would look to that it can at least, help towards understanding that we all must go through some form of that. It is ages old, and will continue forever, that is why we contribute to St. Jude Hospital and programs that will help young people learn to avoid violence, to lead them away from violent acts. When our Parents learned of the hospital that Danny Thomas founded, they contributed regularly and often in memory of Matt.

St. Jude is the patron saint of hopeless causes or situations; Danny Thomas was a struggling comedian he vowed if he became successful he would build a shrine to St. Jude to help those in need. He did become successful and he never forgot his vow; many old timers remember his T.V. program “Make Room for Daddy”, he produced other T.V. programs, his daughter Marlo Thomas starred in her own program “That Girl”. Danny Thomas made good on his promise to St. Jude; his daughter continues the work her father started.

So even now for anyone with a heart breaking loss, like those who are now suffering from the devastation the Tornado’s caused in Kansas, you can only come out of it stronger, to have the faith and patience of the prophet Job, the love and compassion of Mother Mary to deal with heart brake. To give into it only means that you will never live to appreciate and to grow from what your loved one’s have taught you, you have to grow stronger.

It is what helped my family and especially my sister and I expanded on what our brother taught us, my sister and younger brother passed this on to their children and with my sister’s oldest daughter she is passing it on to her children. We don’t turn away from disaster or horror, we deal with it, we’ve made sure that our children (or for me nieces and nephews) are not na├»ve about people and situations.

Matt’s professor, his other teachers and the dean of his college posthumously awarded his college degree, our youngest brother marched onto the stage to receive it in Matt’s memory. Our parents framed it and hung it up on a special wall next to Matt’s picture.

Our younger Brother has it now.

By Matt’s example, we, his siblings worked hard to get scholarships to go to college so it would be less of a financial burden on our parents, we also worked part time to off-set costs, we did it because Matt inspired us, but Dad insisted that we go to a college that was much closer to home so we’d only be a hour from home by bus, if we had to study late Dad or Uncle Mannie would make every effort to pick us up, perhaps our family was being over protective but understandable and we did not object.

Every year, on or near the date of what would be his graduation one or all of us, takes flowers to his grave, in celebration of his life.

Perhaps that is also what being Goth is all about, to understand the sufferings of the world, to know the darkness, to understand it, and to make it a little less dark

Again my Darklings, Thank You for your kind thoughts and words.


In my next post it will be something much less sad.

Later Darklings


  1. "Perhaps that is also what being Goth is all about, to understand the sufferings of the world, to know the darkness, to understand it, and to make it a little less dark."- Vampire Rose-
    I absolutely love this, and I agree completely. I wish that more goths had this outlook, rather than the "let us make the world a darker, more miserable place" approach. Such a beautiful quote from you :)

  2. I agree with Underground Tea, what you expressed about being goth is to know and understand the darkness. Perhaps that is our way of bringing a littlt light to it all.

    The way you honor your brothers life is lovely and makes perfect sense to me.

    As always thank you for sharing.