Friday, October 19, 2012

Sparkly Vampires need not apply~~~~~


I’ve been busy catching up on my writing, and I’ve been pondering this thought about the “Twilight” series.

I have read the “Twilight” Series books (I made it as part of my ‘required reading’), and I can understand why young pre-teen and teenage Baby Bats and even their mothers in some cases, can be attracted to the characters as presented in these books.

Especially Baby Bat Girls---- that being said I understand why Stephanie Meyer is so clever. She certainly understands what makes a young teen age girl’s, and even a homosexual young man’s, heart all drippy with sex hormones which is perhaps the only reason why the saga has such a strong following. Without sexy immortal men what do you have? Nothing but teenage angst and how boring teenage angst is.

But as literature, serious literature it is nothing, just barely a step up from the old “Penny Dreadful’s” that Victorian Parlor maids read and shared amongst themselves as titillating reading.

My first encounter with vampires, at least fictionally, was when I read “Dracula”, far more moody, convoluted and terrifying. And it is terrifying, frightening and confusing to come face to face with one’s own awakening maturing sexuality.

But I, like Anne Rice, many years ago, was also visually affected when I saw “Dracula’s Daughter” with Gloria Holden, it was a sequel to the original Dracula. The sequel was about this beautiful daughter of Dracula who was an artist in London, and she felt drinking blood was a curse. That film mesmerized me with its beautiful, sensitive and mildly seductive scenes; even when the Countess Zaleska was dealing with a bumbling English Bobby it was sensitive.

It made the point to me what vampires were--- elegant, tragic, sensitive people but because of their being different they were public outcasts and they suffered the agony of this fact, this echoed within me, for I was the same way, I was not into the “bobby-sock” life of the teenager, I questioned things that were beyond the limited interests of the upper grade school and high school levels. In my own mildly “Wednesday Addams” way, I was different, not stupid or dumb but different and not into the teenage stuff of that time, I mean Elvis Presley and the Beatles were talented and enjoyable to listen and dance to but I was not into the adoration they generated, Christopher Lee was more my style.

I was becoming nihilistic towards things that interested the “bobby-socker” as to being meaningless, the only thing that saved me completely from nihilism was my parents and grandparents; they showed me that there were certain important things that we need to have an interest in to achieve a livelihood and that even if I felt that life was meaningless there was and is meaning within it, which at the time we cannot see, we needed to look beyond the minutiae, cease to focus on that and look at a much bigger picture and even if I did develop an atheistic outlook on life, there still was meaning.

And that is what irritates me about the comedy “Seinfeld” it focuses on minutiae without focusing on the real issues of life---if that is what makes a comedy then we as a species are in serious trouble.

Fortunately thanks to my family’s intervention, understanding and love, I never did develop an atheistic outlook, for with their help, they showed me that God Laughs with a peculiar sense of humor and the Devil takes his own. With my family’s help I have seen a much bigger picture and learned to enjoy my being an “outcast” especially if I have skills that the “muggles” need, and plead with me to apply.

But sparkly vampires????? Please Darklings…..

“Twilight” is a candy apple walk in the park compared to “Dracula” where without personal strength or protections you could be “devoured” by this fiend, but it also showed the repressed sexuality that Victorians were dealing with, as well as being subjugated to another’s will, against one’s own will.

These vampires that I grew up with were Darkness, dark evil darkness of the kind you do not want to be a part of.

Now a days we would call them abusers, trapping you in a life of sex slavery, drugs and degradation. Even Christopher Lee’s portrayal of Dracula was a warning to young women everywhere, and yes, Darklings, I’ve outgrown that presentation although I still admire Mr. Lee as an actor.

That is why I feel that the vampire’s in the “Twilight” series and others of that ilk are “lies”. It makes them into romantic “fairies” instead of the dangerous creatures they are, young people forget that vampires “feed” on you.

Physically, emotionally, psychologically and psychically.

Perhaps that is the advantage of being an Elder/Elderly Goth, we can say “Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt many times over”.

In time as Baby Bats mature (at least we hope they do mature) they will understand these things, I can understand the romanticism about vampires, one wants something elegant, romantic, even knowledgeable in this 21st century sterile, computerized, Ipod, Ipad world.

I can understand why young girls get tired and turned off on the “gangsta” look with the baggy jeans hanging down to the guys’ knees, with the young male holding up the front of those oversize jeans with one hand on the crotch area as if they have the clap and need to scratch it all the time in perpetual masturbation, and the guys overblown male macho attitude that “you’re my possession, Bi%$#!”

Young Baby Bats are not anyone’s possession, but they are their parents children, and as your parents child, those are the ones you should ask advise from, for if they are wise and loving, they will understand, but be careful of those who allegedly profess their mis-guided “love” for you, especially if their “love” is more like being possessive.

For anyone to read even the literature of “Twilight” tells me that young Baby Bats want something better than what is being offered to them, but you have to work for it, Darklings and don’t settle for 3rd or 4th best.

But “sparkly”??? Please Darklings, no Tinker Belle fairy dust.

To all you Baby Bats, admit that what you want is style, elegance, consideration of your own feelings (very important), compassion, romance, understanding and knowledge to learn from.

Baby Bats want someone that is knowledgeable, is also willing to get out into the real world, be willing to earn a living and make something of themselves, not a couch potato, beer drinking, ex-jock, but also will not manipulate you, that is very important.

But never settle for someone just because you think you can’t get anything better, you can my Darkling Baby Bats you can, but you have to work on yourself, your education, your style and never settle for anything less.

Ignore those persons that think that you are acting like you’re “Too Good” or being a “Stuck Up Bi%#$”. Any one who is trying to improve themselves and their life is not being that way and you, my Baby Bats are not. It is because these others, they don’t even want to try to improve themselves, but you do and they cannot stand that, they would prefer to drag you down to their level, and any Goth worth his or her salt or black nail polish would never, ever do that.

A long time ago I personally set those standards for myself, and along the way I did make some mistakes, fortunately nothing that I could not extricate myself from, because for me the first “hint” of surrendering my personal self, subjugating my goals and ideals to another’s instead of them being a partner or even attempting to understand my work, was enough for me to say “thanks, but no thanks, there’s the door, don’t let it hit your ass on the way out”.

I remember the first time I was seriously developing feelings for one young man, and he intimated that he was interested in a permanent relationship leading to marriage, I thought at that time my happiness would be nearly complete, remember my Darklings I was young at the time, just into my mid-twenties (many life times ago).

But then one evening over dinner at a very nice restaurant, things changed and changed very quickly and drastically the moment he referred to my work as being an “over-glorified file clerk”.

I looked at him, knowing exactly the type of work I was doing was nothing of that sort, so I asked him quiet gently what gave him that opinion of my job and work.

I listened very carefully to what he said, belittling me, belittling the job that I had to do, him saying in a disparaging way, that the pains it took me to do it well and correctly was nothing, and that it didn’t matter to the care and well-being of other people, nor to bring peace and answers to relatives.

He completely ignored me or how quiet I became as he continued talking in his “superior manner”; he was totally wrapped up in proving how superior he was and how inferior I was. That was a dangerous mistake for him to make. For in that instance the minute he started denigrating my work, my life, my choices, and more importantly even my family, he was, in my mind, completely struck off of my list of worth-while male suitors.

Taking care to not reveal my inner anger as it seethed and boiled, (trust me Darklings, it took a lot of strength of will to not want to “slam dunk” that piece of garbage into the nearest dumpster or toss hot coffee into his face), he continued on telling me about the plans he had for me to become a “nice little wifey” and raising 2 plus children, subjugating my wishes and thoughts and molding them to “his” ideals.

I smiled at him and murmured “How interesting” as I listened to him going on and on about “His plans” and “His goals” and “His ideas of marriage” and how he planned on seeing me dress in a way he “approved of” and what I was to do and cutting my work time to hourly and then eventually my giving up working to raise “HIS” children.

He was completely unaware that the more he talked the more I became silent, saying nothing to him, he was completely caught up in his monologue of his plans for “us”.

Eventually he saw me home after I suffered though a very tedious and upsetting evening, which he thought in his mind, was going just perfectly. While I was suffering through his selfish, self-centered snobbish soliloquy, I planned on what I was going to do to let him know My displeasure.

He walked me to the front door of my apartment and as I unlocked and opened the door (I was living in court type apartment complex) he asked if I was going to invite him in as the night was warm, and the water in the courtyard fountain was splashing gaily, I stopped before I entered and looked directly at him and suddenly with a snarl on my lips said “Never more!”

I quickly went in, closed and locked the door. When he recovered from his initial shock from my sudden explosion of anger, he proceed to bang on my front door for a good long while calling my name, pleading with me to open the door so we could talk and “work things out” as the neighbors leaned out their windows telling him to shut up before someone called the police.

While he was banging and yelling at my door, I wrote out a note describing his faults, his selfishness, and why I was breaking up with him, I then dressed in a black filmy nightgown and robe.

He was very persistent, completely intent on not giving up, and continued for a long time assaulting my front door despite the threats from my neighbors to call the police, I was upstairs by this time and from my upper bedroom window that was over the front door I saw that the police had arrived. How perfect I thought.

As the police officers talked to him to try and find out why he was having a case of “Love Labors Lost” I opened my window and sweetly called out to the police officers “Hello Officers” I said, catching their rapt attention.

They all looked up at me in my romantic and sexy filmy black night gown and robe, and their mouths hung open at seeing me dressed so, I could tell they did admire my assets, as a matter of fact old Mr. Miller from next door, could see me quiet well and gave a “wolf whistle,” Mr. Miller might have been old, very old but he wasn’t dead yet.

I apologized to them about having to come out to deal with my rejected suitor at such a late hour and appreciated their assistance, as my neighbors also leaned out their windows enjoying the spectacle and watching how things were playing out,

Then I called out to my erstwhile suitor and with two pennies in the envelope to weigh it down I tossed the note to him and said again quiet loudly “Never More!” closed the window, closed my drapes, turned off my bedroom lights and went to bed with a smile on my lips, a contented sigh and a slight chuckle emanating from my throat as I heard the police officers saying to him “Let it go Buddy, she told you to leave. Are we going have to march you down to the station?” as he was sputtering “She can’t do that to me! I have plans for us!” but I heard Mrs. Byrd, my other neighbor, call out to him, “Well Sonny she certainly didn’t have any plans for you!” and old Mr. Miller laughing and saying “Good for her!” as peace returned to our small apartment complex.

For weeks he sent me flowers, candy, and small gifts. I returned the gifts, as that was only right, I sent the flowers to my neighbors, to hospitals and convalescent homes and took the candy to work to share among my co-workers or gave them to my neighbors as peace offerings. Especially to Mrs. Miller, who laughed when she found out the reason for Mr. Miller’s verbally descriptive admiration for my form.

Several of my co-workers said they would be sorry when the candy would stop arriving.

He contacted my friends and family pleading his case, in the hopes that they would persuade me to “see reason” but I had told them why I refused to see him again, they understood my side of it and relayed the information back to him that I refused to be in touch with him ever again.

Eventually he sent me a letter saying I didn’t understand him and again saying he could make a good living for both of us that we’d be happy with. I made a copy of that letter that I cut into sections and with each of his arguments I had written rebuttals underneath for each section and told him that he did not understand or appreciate a strong independent woman who has her own goals and ideas in mind nor did he show any willingness to compromise or work in harmony.

A person like that, I told him, is only an Egotist, full of his own self-importance and over-inflated sense of entitlement which he did not deserve nor earn.

I saw him some 18 years later, he had grown fat, hair had thinned, his wife meek and mild, his children were selfish money grubbing teen age brats, and altogether neither of them happy, the shocked look on his face when we ran into each other was enough of a reward, as he remarked that I had not changed a bit, and I saw in his face a wish that he had not “blown his chances”.

There have been other men, and although nice enough, they had faults and still had that attitude that women were women to ‘wait’ on men. Although not to the degree that my erstwhile suitor had, and all were let down gently.

It’s been years my Darklings, I am my own woman, and Doyle is a perfect companion, he knows I need my space but I also enjoy his companionship, we see things the same, but in some areas we have differences, small but there to make things interesting. As the song goes “I’m a little bit country, he’s a little bit rock and roll.”

But I still prefer my heroines to be strong and take charge, not Bella’s weak willingness to become Edwards’ helpmate. Bella’s overriding passivity is in distinct contrast to other fairytales for teen girls that have been popular in recent decades—in which the heroine’s encounters with magic open up much wider fields of possibilities.

If I had read the “Twilight” series as a young girl I would have said “Yuck!” yes Darklings, “Yuck!” and I would have seen it for the fairy tale it really is, my Mother told me that fairy tales are just that, “fairy tales”, in real life there is no “happily ever after” but with the right person there can be a measure of happiness and contentment but to be prepared for life’s ups and downs.

She directed my interest to the Brother’s Grimm and their fairy tales told in all its grim reality. We’d read them and I’d ask her why did the step sisters do this or why did Blue Beard do that and she’d tell me why. For those fairy tales were tales of survival and code of conduct and how to be pro-active.

So my Darklings, sparkly vampires need not apply.

As a matter of fact the Brother’s Grimm stories were more to my Goth style and perceptions of society.

I mean what a delicious name----Grimm.

Later Darklings

No comments:

Post a Comment