Friday, March 22, 2013

Of Further Updates and being an Elder/Elderly Goth~~~

Hello My Darklings,

Dear Carrie and Kellie Thank you for your concerns and good thoughts, and there were others as well, again Thank You.    It really picks my spirits up.

My strength is slowly coming back although I'm still on the weak side for walking,  my appetite is also coming back but I cannot stomach much food with three meals a day, so Ella and Louise are breaking it down to 6 smaller meals, which is much easier to do.

My jaw and teeth no longer hurt, and my range of motion has improved, it is good to see that some of the bruising is slowly diminishing, but the worse ones still look ugly but are also getting better,  and things don't hurt as bad, although I still get some back spasms.

The massage therapy that was delayed will start next week, several of my friends have been coming by to do things around the garden, and running some simple errands for me, it helps take some burden off of Ella and Louise as well as Doyle and Marie.  

Doyle is going to have to go out of town on an assignment for a few days and Marie's client list has increased so that she is coming home later.   Louise offers to stay later but really once I've eaten and settled there is no need and the phone is next to my bed, both land line and cell.

The Therapist's said that although there is improvement, because of the Flu there was a little set back in gaining strength so we'll start on that again.  

One good thing is that Coralline and her parents will be coming by on Sunday, it will be good to see her again, I just hope she is not too shocked by my appearance.  But she has been worried. 

Easter is coming a week from this Sunday but all our Easter plans are on hold, we need to be sure I'm over this Flu bug, do not want a relapse.  Marie is going to be visiting her children which is good, so it will be just Doyle and me----I told him let's just get Chinese Take Out.  But he wants to take me for a drive in my vintage car, just to see things and feel part of life,  I think that will be a wonderful idea. 

For an Elder/Elderly Goth it is hard being ill, it is frustrating to be so limited and in essence confined, but having support of family, friends and a medical team helps.  

A younger (well she's in her 20's) goth friend, who is an artist came by yesterday evening, it was a very nice visit and she asked me that since young people (of her generation) go to Goth clubs and take in the action what would an Elderly Goth do?  

I told her that most of the club scene would be too frenetic for those of my age, but to at least take in what the new bands were while watching their alcohol intake, that would not be too far out of line, it is important for an Elderly Goth to realize they are not a 20 something, so trying to act like a 20 something would be ridiculous and silly and off-putting.   It's better for an Elderly Goth to inquire with the youngsters what they think of the new bands and their sense of trending.

Doyle and I went to one club a while ago before the accident,  he in his tux and I in my evening gown, most places prefer that people stand up so seating was limited but for some reason we were able to get a banquette and low table,  seems the club owner thought we'd be more comfortable so we got VIP treatment.   We had a chance to talk to some of the young people who wondered who we were and we exchanged opinions on the various drifts of music styles.   One young lady was dressed like Little Bo-Peep, she showed us a picture of her and her AK 47, the caption read  "O.K. Mr. Wolf now try and get my Sheep"   I Loved it!

We made a few connections and I loved discovering several artists and their works.   But another thing for some Goths including Elderly Goths is studying Film Noir and being a part of the Art Deco scene, as well as reading and studying written works of goth and horror writers, horror films,  Art works, as well and being into things like art and photography.  

So the trick is I told Monica, to be aware of the scene, to be in it but be separate from it as well, to be aware that one is much older and that things are not from the 1940's or 50's scene but much younger and to not act like a 20 something but to be your age but to not be disapproving or overly critical but to understand the changes in the scene.   To make connections with younger people in a friendly way but to not treat them like children.  

Monica is one example, I admire her work and have even given her funds when she was between assignments, without any thought of being re-paid, but she did in her own way repay me, she used a photograph of me when I was younger and duplicated it with some variation for a book cover, later she did a full length painting of me and gave it to me, it is very flattering.

She said she wanted to do that because I don't criticize her for her life style and in turn she introduced Doyle and I to her friends and I've helped them as well.

It is a delicate balance and also one has to have trust as well between peoples, and that also there are rules of etiquette as well.  In doing that I was able to help Monica and some of her friends become more discerning without being invasive or overbearing.   A sort of detached--attachment.   Again a balance.

Ella is saying I need to have my lunch before the Therapist gets here,   so I will write more later my Darklings.



  1. That's why I don't go to goth clubs any more - they expect you to stand. I'm just not able to do that anymore!

    Glad your friends are helping out, and hoping your massage therapy next week is helpful AND enjoyable!

  2. I don't think I've ever been to a goth club before, but it sounds fascinating! As an avid people watcher, finding free spirits are like finding gold.

    Take care of yourself!