Yesterday Darklings, was a hard day to deal with.
It's been like that for a number of us here at work and at home, yesterday was the 12th anniversary of the 9/11 attack.
My Father once said "everyone has their own version of "Pearl Harbor", be it family related like a violent death from an accident or nation wide like the assination of Pres. John F. Kennedy. But there has to be at least once, an event wether personal or nation wide that stabs you in the heart with a pain that you feel will kill you."
My parents as they were growing up, got married, raised a family had that kind of pain several times over, the depression where their father's lost their jobs and the family struggled, Pearl Harbor which took our nation into war, the Deaths of President Roosevelt and Kennedy, the death of their eldest son, my brother.
I had it too, the horrible death of my best friend, my brother, Kennedy, I lost several friends in Vietnam, and one dear friend through Aids, but I thought I could weather it out, although the pain is there, but it wasn't until that early morning, I had been putting in a late night shift, and was leaving the office when I saw our Security Guard weeping, I went to him and he showed me on his portable T.V. set, he always watched the early morning news and to see what traffic was like so he'd know who might be in late or on time, but we saw it, those planes crashing into the towers, I stood there frozen, I could not tear my eyes away from the screen, and the event was being played out, and when I saw the plane hit the tower I felt a "stab" in my heart, that very pain my Father talked about.
In the movie Star Wars, Yoda said he felt a "disturbance in the Force" of millions of souls crying out in pain and fear, on that day I finally understood what was meant by that.
Last night Doyle, my Sister and I went to Napa where they unveiled a memorial to those who lost their lives on 9/11, Doyle knew of several police officers who died from lung cancer because of the dust particles in their lungs from that day, Sis lost several friends who were in the towers that day at a meeting, I knew of one friend who was visiting New York and wanted to go to the resteraunt in one of the towers, they never did find anything of him.
The memorial is made from several girders from the towers, simple and beautiful, with light diffusing through it. A combination of burnt steel and light, I felt it was perfect. Sis and I found the names on the panels, as we left we felt we had truely said good bye to our friends.
We will never forget. No one should.