Doyle was drunk.
Sometimes people believe that everything is sweetness and light, and most of the time it is, my sister and I have learned to not fight, if we disagree on things we are polite about it but we also have our "off" moments, when that happens either one or the other will say "I'm not fit company right now, when I've calmed down I'll talk" so the other avoids them or goes onto other matters or does other things.
I'm not saying we dance on egg shells but we do our best to guage the others' emotions. It's called "being aware"
But sometimes things happen and that is a mental and emotional firestorm.
Doyle came home drunk last night, thank goodness someone put him in a cab, he was in no condition to drive, I was up late with a bit of a sinus headache, all one can do is compresses to relieve the pain and I decided to stay down stairs---good thing too, Belladonna started doing whining barks, and I saw that a cab had pulled in front of the house, going out side I saw that it was Doyle trying to get to his wallet.
I asked the cab driver where did he pick him up and he gave me the location, helping Doyle I paid the driver, while Doyle stumbled into the house.
It's rare that I see him in this condition so I kept quiet to see what he'd do and if he would talk, he proceeded to go to the liquior cabinet where whiskey and brandy are kept, and he pulled out a half filled bottle of Jack Daniels, I rarely drink Jack or Jim unless I have a cough, and then with honey and lemon, but this worried me.
Doyle collapsed into his chair and started drinking, I sat near by trying to ignore my headache, so I simply asked him "What's Up?" a safe phrase, and Doyle proceeded to tell me, no it was not about the Navy Yard shootings, it was about a case he had been working on, dealing with a child taken by a non-custodial parent, Doyle had been working on it for 5 months, but it didn't end well, he had more than enough information to give to another operative in another state, but the person and the child went to Canada, the operative followed. The news was sad and tragic niether person nor child are alive and Doyle is drunk, angry both at himself and at the selfishness of people who would take a child's life.
I let him drink and talk and then he feel into a stuporious sleep, and I took the bottle away, or what was left of it. I know for the next few days even weeks I'll be dealing with Doyle's dark demons when this happens, this is one of those times when the evil darkness invades our lives, last night I let him sleep in his chair first removing his shoes, belt and watch, this morning he stumbled out of it and shedding some of his rumpled clothing he manged to get into the downstairs shower in the downstairs guest room.
I put coffee on, picked up the clothes called work and said I would not be in, migraine headache (which was in the shower), Doyle came out wrapped in a towel, looking the worse for wear, manged to get to the kitchen table, Sis came down with his bathrobe and slippers, neither of us said anything and we felt anything more than coffee and toast would have him make a dash to the sink.
All three of us sat there, with Belladonna at my feet, in more coherient tones Doyle told us. We could only hold his hand, even Sis acknowledged that in part Doyle has to work it out. I called his office and they understood, even the secretary was crying. I said to him everyone feels horrible when you lose one, its no one's fault you have to look to who is really to blame, he understood, got up and called his office back said he would be in later today, he felt it would be only right to make arrangements to bring the child's body back home. Another agent who was familar with the case would notify the surviving parent.
Will it be in the papers? Not really, so much happens now a days a lot does not get reported.
Sis has gone to meet her clients, Doyle is sleeping for now, I'll wake him in about 4 hours, but for now I'm going to take Belladonna for her walk, in the sunshine, in the cool Fall weather, my headache is gone, I'll putter in the garden a bit, feed and watch my Koi, and plan things, but now I need to take things gently with Doyle for a little while. He won't get drunk again, I know that. He'll do what he can, by this time next week he'll be fully functioning, but with one more dark nightmare hidden into another compartment in his mind.
I think I'll ask if Coralline can come over this weekend, I think seeing her will help Doyle.
|Only Doyle can climb out of his depths of dispair, but we can throw him a life line|