Of Thanksgiving and Christmas and a tragic Fire~~~

Hello Darklings,

Well I have been out of the loop but a lot has been happening, so where do I start.

Well we slowly took down the Halloween decorations and carefully packed them away, but then I had a leak in the hot water heater!  A good thing I don't keep anything at floor level, so the water was shut off to it.  

I called my plumber and he quickly came out, for some reason there was a defect in the bottom of the tank, still under warranty,  so had that replaced at no cost. 

Then the Washing Machine broke a belt,  now try and get wet clothing out of a tub full of water and hand wring it out and bail the water out of the tub,  called my appliance repair man,  he replaced the belt, tested the machine,  only just over $100.00.   And we finished wringing the clothing,  Thank Goodness the dryer was working.

Then the original refrigerator that I moved from the kitchen into the large walk in pantry died,  I was a nice large side by side refrigerator freezer, but nothing was going to resurrect it, so moved most of the stuff in the freezer to my sister's and the chilled beer was left out.  

The good thing is my much newer refrigerator works beautifully, so I was deciding, do I move the one in the kitchen into the pantry or install a new one in the pantry,  I mean how hard is it to move a refrigerator?

Well Doyle said "Nope ain't moving it, buy a new one for the pantry and have the delivery guys handle it"  so did that.   Nothing fancy, a good dependable Maytag refrigerator, plain white,  and energy efficient.

With all this happening my brother and sister-in-law said "Thanksgiving at our house!"   What a relief!    So Sis and I brought side dishes while the main feast was cooked at my brother's house,  and relatives and children all over the place,  Thank goodness my brother has a "Man Cave" for the children,  that way we could cook and set up without worry.   And everything was delicious.

My brother yelled up from below that Santa Had Arrived so Christmas is now officially here.   A flash of memory went through my mind of all those Thanksgivings when Dad and my Uncles would watch the Macy's parade with my brother and a couple of nephews, and Mom, Grandma, a couple of Aunts, Sis and I would set up the table and then Dad would call out "Santa arrived!!! You ladies can go Christmas shopping!!"   And Mom and Grandma would roll their eyes.   But it never gets old.

The next day, my sister in law, Coraline, Christopher, Sis and myself we went to the Dickens Fair, I had to use a cane and rest a lot because my leg muscle is still weak but still it was so enjoyable, seeing all the Dickens characters, and the entertainments, and all the lovely things to buy,  Coraline and Chris were wearing Dickens finery thanks to an on line shop called "Recollections"  and the children were having fun researching how to behave in a proper Victorian manner.   We are going back for one more weekend to see what we've might have missed.  But the scent of spices and baking and cinnamon buns,  and hot tea,  and watching scenes from some of the Dickens novels.   It does add magic to the season.

Christmas dinner will be at my house,  we bought the trees today,  a large one for the formal parlor and a smaller one in the family parlor,  bit by bit Christmas decorations have been put up,  I've hired Betty full time to help me,  of course the Maid Service will do the house cleaning,  it's far too much for Betty to handle, but with her and I and occasionally her daughter to assist, along with the Cleaning service it's not so bad.  

But last night was very difficult for me and for some of my friends and I was glad that Sis was at my house to help.

We've had a very tragic fire in town,  if you Google "Oakland Ghost Ship Warehouse Fire" that will give you all the news,  it seems in this Artist Collective Warehouse, where people were illegally living in, a party, some people call it a Rave, was held and a fire broke out and people were trapped, the place was a "fire ready to happen".

My artist friends, the ones I call very Ghostly, had been planning to go to this party to meet someone there but for them luck was on their side, they didn't get there til nearly midnight when the fire was at it's height,  their friend was fine but she couldn't find someone that she met there that my artist friends knew,  only today did they find out this person had died in the fire.  They were grief stricken.

My artist friends didn't know for the last few days, where to go or who to talk to to process their grief, the memorials and areas of prayer didn't seem to assuage their feelings,  so they came to my house,  I think the warmth of the house, the candles burning in the fireplace, the Christmas decorations and the hot lemon ginger tea helped them, I let them talk and talk, even if they were going over it again and again it helped them process it.

They told me that a few weeks ago they were looking for cheap space to rent to do some of their larger works and had checked it out,  at first it appeared enchanting but then when they looked closer, well as she told it to me it was like seeing something that's beautiful on the surface but it hides the decay and rot underneath.   They didn't feel comfortable about it.   They weren't even sure about going to this party so they kept putting off going there and it seems their feeling was right.

He kept saying it was a monster of flame, devouring all that was inside, people crying and calling out if someone had seen someone,  I cannot even write down how they described what they saw.   They were so upset that I put them up for the night saying they should not be alone right now.

This morning they thanked me and said they were going home to change clothing and go out among people and have breakfast,  I said they were welcome to come by again if they needed to talk.   I feel they will take me up on that. 

I listened to them, and Belladonna and Wiener Dog cuddled next to them, I watched as they absentmindedly petted the dogs and scratched their heads,  doing that seemed to relax my visitors, making them drowsy, and helped them to unwind their tensions.

Doyle was very up on the events, and would encourage them to talk, while Sis helped them go through and process the emotions they were feeling. 

This morning they told me that they have idea's for their next series of art work, dealing with tragedy and monsters.   I sort of questioned about it with Sis but she said it will be their way of processing their grief, and I could understand that. 

We watch horror movies to be terrified but then when one sees it, in real life and know that they've lost someone in such a horrible tragedy,  it is a totally different.   I am going to check in with them in a few days to see how they are doing,  something like this one does not get over instantly.  

I'm going to have a Christmas Evening tea, I think I'll invite them, during this time of the year one should not be alone.

I have not posted about wonderfully gothic things,  I did see the Dr. Strange movie and I'll talk about it in my next post.

Later Darklings

Of feeling sad over the state of affairs~~~~

Hello Darklings,

I'm still under the weather with my cold and perhaps that is contributing to my feeling so "down".

Usually I very rarely comment on what is happening in the world or locally but with what has happened in France I feel is an attack on "free Thought" on the freedom to explore things to find truth and even the freedom to even laugh at religion.

Now personally I take my religious beliefs seriously, but as a means to be at peace within myself and with others.

I do not expect people to think or believe the way I do, and I am always interested in how archeologists peel away the layers of centuries to discover things of how things developed.

When I was very little I believed in my childish mind that every word in the bible was absolutely true, but my Father said to me "Not exactly, things change over the course of telling and re-telling over the course of time.  Even the bible has changed because of what was added, taken out, re-translated etc."  he went on to say "It's like the game of 'Telephone'"  

I couldn't quiet understand or grasp what he was talking about but he said it could be demonstrated very easily how things change,  the next day a number of my friends were over and Dad said "Let play "Telephone".    So we all lined up in a straight line but there be about 24 inches between us so we could not overhear what was being whispered into each child's ear.

Dad started it and whispered something into my oldest brother's ear, my brother processed it and then whispered it into the next child's ear and so on and so one and even I heard it whispered into my ear and then I whispered it into my friends ear, now after we had whispered it into the other person's ear we were to write down what we thought we heard.

And then at the very end the last child wrote on our playroom blackboard what he heard,  then my Dad said for us one at a time read out what each of us heard...and each time it was always a bit different, then Dad wrote out above what the last child wrote what is was he said at the Beginning.

When we compared the two sentences they were complete different but with only a few things here and there that was correct but the meaning had been completely changed.  But already it was a revelation to me.

Well of course we all laughed about that and it was a fun game, but my Dad made sure that those two sentences were left up on the black board and he carefully collected in sequence order each paper that each child hand written on.

Later after my friends had left Dad carefully posted each note in the right sequence order, he called me, my sister and brothers (my oldest brother was still alive at that time) over.

And he said "Imagine that each one of these notes is one generation of people or 20 years---and with each generation depending on what is in that person's mind, how they interprete what they learned and passed onto the next generation.   Do you see how that changes?"

And we did----dramatically so.   Dad continued "It's like gossip, it changes and gets different with each re-telling, only gossip is very bad and can damage a person reputation.  In reading the Bible, the Torah or any religious work, we have to remember that it changes depending upon what is in that person's mind, or how it is translated from a different language depending on what is in the translator's mind.   Only in looking at what is basic and try to peel away layers can you discover what is or might be true, but never believe anything absolutely without question, because that can close off your mind to truth and to wonder."

Dad said that in the bible Pontius Pilate asked an extremely important question----something that everyone should ask every day with every event that one hears or reads----

"WHAT IS TRUTH?"

And Dad warned us to beware of anyone promoting their idea of the Truth and to keep our minds flexible and open, especially to change and discoveries.

It took me a while to learn this, something's I do hold sacred but that is personal and I've found that when I'm around people who do not at least have some respect for certain things then I do not want them in my sphere, I have found them to be internally angry and closed minded, even toxic, manipulative, poisonous and dangerous, so I would disengage any contact with them.   Some of my friends didn't much to their sorrow.

Some programs poke fun at religion such as "South Park", "Family Guy", and even "The Simpsons",  I found it at its best hilarious on "Big Bang Theory" when Sheldon's Mother would come to visit him.  But I found that within that character she really gave Sheldon a certain foundation in his regimented, scientific, denial of religion mind, and even though the character referred to Catholic's as "Rosary Rattlers"   I as one, still found it funny, not disrespectful but funny.

Why?  Because it takes all kinds of people and we are human and if we can't laugh at God or with God then we are pretty poor people and if so then maybe then God should wipe everything from the face of the earth and start it all over again.

Mom use to say "People make plans and God laughs" and there have been times when he's had a very strange sense of humor.

I remember many years ago when my parents were up there in age they were planning and pre-paying for their funeral and Mother told Dad "I'll make sure I'll have you buried in your good Blue Suit" and Dad said "why not in my fishing gear?"  and Mother replied "It will be in your good blue suit and don't think you're going to sit up in your coffin and complain because I won't have that!"   and we all laughed at Mom's declaration.

Laughing at Death----not bad for a Rosary Rattler.

But because of what has happened in France I want to re-print here an article that appeared on the internet version of the NEW YORKER MAGAZINE

And it makes sense-----

From the NEW YORKER

January 7, 2015

The Blame for the Charlie Hebdo Murders

By George Packer

 The murders today in Paris are not a result of France’s failure to assimilate two generations of Muslim immigrants from its former colonies. They’re not about French military action against the Islamic State in the Middle East, or the American invasion of Iraq before that.

They’re not part of some general wave of nihilistic violence in the economically depressed, socially atomized, morally hollow West—the Paris version of Newtown or Oslo. Least of all should they be “understood” as reactions to disrespect for religion on the part of irresponsible cartoonists.

They are only the latest blows delivered by an ideology that has sought to achieve power through terror for decades. It’s the same ideology that sent Salman Rushdie into hiding for a decade under a death sentence for writing a novel, then killed his Japanese translator and tried to kill his Italian translator and Norwegian publisher.

The ideology that murdered three thousand people in the U.S. on September 11, 2001.

The one that butchered Theo van Gogh in the streets of Amsterdam, in 2004, for making a film.

 The one that has brought mass rape and slaughter to the cities and deserts of Syria and Iraq.

That massacred a hundred and thirty-two children and thirteen adults in a school in Peshawar last month.

 That regularly kills so many Nigerians, especially young ones, that hardly anyone pays attention.

Because the ideology is the product of a major world religion, a lot of painstaking pretzel logic goes into trying to explain what the violence does, or doesn’t, have to do with Islam.

 

Some well-meaning people tiptoe around the Islamic connection, claiming that the carnage has nothing to do with faith, or that Islam is a religion of peace, or that, at most, the violence represents a “distortion” of a great religion. (After suicide bombings in Baghdad, I grew used to hearing Iraqis say, “No Muslim would do this.”)

Others want to lay the blame entirely on the theological content of Islam, as if other religions are more inherently peaceful—a notion belied by history as well as scripture.

A religion is not just a set of texts but the living beliefs and practices of its adherents.

Islam today includes a substantial minority of believers who countenance, if they don’t actually carry out, a degree of violence in the application of their convictions that is currently unique.

Charlie Hebdo had been nondenominational in its satire, sticking its finger into the sensitivities of Jews and Christians, too—but only Muslims responded with threats and acts of terrorism.

For some believers, the violence serves a will to absolute power in the name of God, which is a form of totalitarianism called Islamism—politics as religion, religion as politics. “Allahu Akbar!” the killers shouted in the street outside Charlie Hebdo. They, at any rate, know what they’re about.

These thoughts don’t offer a guide to mitigating the astonishing surge in Islamist killing around the world.

Rage and condemnation don’t do the job, nor is it helpful to alienate the millions of Muslims who dislike what’s being done in the name of their religion. Many of them immediately condemned the attack on Charlie Hebdo, in tones of anguish particular to those whose deepest beliefs have been tainted.

The answer always has to be careful, thoughtful, and tailored to particular circumstances. In France, it will need to include a renewed debate about how the republic can prevent more of its young Muslim citizens from giving up their minds to a murderous ideology—how more of them might come to consider Mustapha Ourrad, a Charlie Hebdo copy editor of Algerian descent who was among the victims, a hero. In other places, the responses have to be different, with higher levels of counter-violence.

But the murders in Paris were so specific and so brazen as to make their meaning quite clear. The cartoonists died for an idea. The killers are soldiers in a war against freedom of thought and speech, against tolerance, pluralism, and the right to offend—against everything decent in a democratic society. So we must all try to be Charlie, not just today but every day.

   ~~~~~~~~

If this article offends some of my readers, well I get offended as well, at the senseless killings in the name of religion.

This has got to stop, or God or someone or something  will wipe everyone off the face of this planet and only cockroaches will rule.

And now I'm going to have some chicken soup, take some more cold medicine lie down and rest.

Later Darklings

Of the 2nd Day of Bridge Closure, less insanity~~~~

Well Darklings,

I'm going in later today and working till early evening, Doyle has an appointment in South San Francisco and will take the San Mateo Bridge to get there and will pick me up from work and take the long round about drive home, but he says he'll take us over the Golden Gate Bridge to San Rafel to meet Sis there for Dinner.  They have it all arranged.  Brian will pick up Belladonna and bring her home.

So I'm just going along for the ride.

Dear Rebecca, I love your idea's for New Orleans, but I wonder when is the best time to visit, obviously not during Mardi Gra nor hurricane season.   And those tours you've suggested sounds wonderful.  I'm putting them on my wish list---hint, hint to Doyle for future plans.  I may get lucky and find some wonderful things for my Cabinet of Curosities.

I've been going on line to the Fright Store Web site to see what they have to offer and I've seen a few things to blow my budget on, a coffin clutch bag, a skull walking stick, some jewerly (even if its pot metal) and some Wonderful outdoor displays.  So much to choose from. 

I must add the Spirit Store and Fright Store links as well as the Doombuggies link as well,  that way Darklings you can have your fill of Disney's Haunted Mansion even when you are not at the Disney parks.  Never enough, just never enough.

I've had some internet friends ask why I don't comment on what is happening in the world,  I believe in another post I gave my reasons why, I want my blog to be a blog to get away from things even though there has been tragedy in my part of the world.

But for an update:  About the Rim fire near Yosemite, latest reports they have it 32 percent contained, cooler weather is helping and the rocky region near Hetch-Hetchy is slowing it down giving the fire fighters a chance.   And they've found a peaceful use of those Drone planes, since a live person is not in the plane they use them to find hot spots that cannot easily be spotted via normal means and can pinpoint water drops.

About Syria:  I feel that its best to leave that in the hands of those who have all or almost all the facts, the use of chemical war fare is horrible and the fact that Russia and China will not go along to condem that shows them for the "evil empire" govenments they are.  Britain's parlament did not pass their vote, maybe they are tired of war, but it can backlash upon them, France is with the U.S.  but again it does show that those middle eastern countries do not play by the standard rules of war, they hide weapons cache's among innocent civilians trying to make other's the "bad guys" and they target civilians to crush them. 

A veteran that I knew said that after the bombing of Dresden, of Heroshima, etc.  many military men knew that the rules of war was changing, the Germans bombed London, oh they were going for the docks etc. but it didn't matter if it landed on civilian targets.   And Sherman's march through Georgia, a burnt earth policy, leave nothing to the enemy.   In war there are no clean hands.   So I will leave it at that.

About the Boston Bombers:  That is going on still both indictments and investigations, a third party has been indicted for concealing and protecting the Boston Bombers and more evidence has been revealed that the two bombers were involved and committed murder the year previous, they are not the confused innocent boys that some parties make them out to be.

About the Limo fires:  One other happened fairly recently involving elderly women but all got out quickly and safely no injuries.  On the original Limo fire, it was found that a electrical short of some kind caused the fire.  A bill is in the works to change the design of Limo's as well as increased safety issues.

About the Murders of an Austrailian Athelete and a 88 year old WWII Vet:   Those parties responsible have been capture and arrested.  In the first it was 3 teen age boys 2 black, 1 white ages 15 to 17 they shot the athelete because "They were bored" and wanted to see what killing a person felt like---all three will be tried as adults in adult court.

In regards to the murder of the 88 year old WWII Vet:  This man survived the battle of Okinawa, was loved in the community was barely 5 feet tall, was waiting in a car for a friend in front of a Lodge Hall when 2 teenage boys draged him out of the car and robbed and beat him to death.  Because of the outrage in the Community one of the perps turned himself in and the 2nd one was Captured, the 2nd one has a record of assault and robbery, both are 16 years old and black, both (as I understand it) will be tried as adults.

If anyone says I'm being racial---I'm not---I'm only reporting what was printed and revealed in the news.

So can you see my Darklings, why I prefer to stay away from a lot of possible politically charged issues?

Why I preferr to stay on topics that are escapist?  

I do not ignore the world around me, I am too much aware of it sadly, and I really prefer to keep much of my opinions to myself as they can become much too volitale.  

I have very strong opinions about things and people, if one wants to know or have an inkling of my thoughts then I recommend reading Agatha Christie's Miss Marple mysteries, time and again this charater voices very close to my own thoughts, which may seem harsh to some. 

And in my blog I do not want volitility, but just as I know I cannot protect my niece Coralline from the uglyness of the world around her, I can at least give her a measure of balance of things, of the Yin and Yang of life, of the Karmic destiny of it.

Recently a friend of mine said to me "Why do the criminals when they are caught having done a violent act, claim that They are the victims, espeically when their Karma has caught up to them?"  

As an Elder/Elderly Goth that has seen the dark and light side of life, I am in agreement with that sentiment.

Now I must go and deal with the Crush of BART.

Later Darklings

Of Tragedy at S.F.O. and old-fashioned things~~~

Dear Darklings,

I'm sure that many of the National and International News agencies are carrying this tragic story.

Flight 214 from South Korea, crashed yesterday afternoon at the San Francisco Airport.

The miracle is that only 2 people died, 2 teenage Chinese National girls who I believe were part of a group of 70 going to a Summer Camp here in the US.

There were 290 passengers and a crew of I believe 16 I'm not sure, the only thing is that there were 309 people total on board, 307 survived.   At last count 181 were injured with various types of injuries, at least 16 critically, but at this time they are expected to survive.

The bodies of the 2 girls were found outside the plane, which has us puzzeled.   It is described that the plane came in too low the pilot realized it gave it an increase in power but it was not enough to clear, the landing gear of the tail of the plane hit the rock wall that separates the run way from the bay,  and then the rest of the plane skidded and its jet enginges ripped off. 

The pilot at the last second managed to get word to the tower that replied that emergency personnel are on their way.  Police were tossing box cutters to the crew to help passengers get free of their seat belts, many passengers and the crew helped others remain calm even though there was fire, the airbags to slide to safety were deployed.

Doyle thinks that the 2 girls were sitting in the tail section of the plane and when it hit they were thrown out.  But that is only speculation.  Many flights are being rerouted to Oakland, San Jose Airports possibly Los Angeles as well. Any airport that has very long runways.

Yesterday evening as Sis and I were cleaning up from canning the fruits we were watching and listening to the news reports, it will be weeks before anything will be diffinet about this.  All we could do was pray for them and their friends and families.   Doyle told us that the Boeing 777 is a very "tough" plane and it might have been a good thing the pilot poured the power on to give the front end lift, it might have helped save many lives.

I know that I have many readers on my Blog who are from overseas, and this blog may help give them a quick overview of anything major happening in my area.  But Yahoo and Google News will have more information and updates.  So I'd have to refer you to those sources.

This event sort of deflated our day, one hates to be happy and enjoying things when such a tragedy takes place, it makes the events in our lives seem so trivial and silly.  Sis and I stayed up until late in the evening to discuss this, how we felt.   Doyle had put in a long day and said he was going to bed.

His comment was "This is in the best hands possible, all we can do is pray and if they need a blood drive or donations help out that way."   And really he is right, but still one cannot help but think that.  Sis said that if one goes on thinking that then we become too morbid in our minds to become effective in helping others, and even though we know Death is all around us, every minute of every day, we need to be able to see and understand that as tragic as it is we can only do what we can.  And she is so right, I know she was thinking that I was remembering what happened to me as a child, and every now and then she reminds me to carry on.

Yesterday morning we had an early start to our Day by going over to a friends house, she has been going through all her closets and her storage unit and what a treasure trove!!!  Hats, purses, clothing all from the 1940's and 50's and a few things from the early 60's (total Mad Men),  with several large mirrors and a wall mirror we tried on everything and made our selections, we bought over half of what she had,  but she'll have plenty to offer.   I found a number of hats that looked very good on me including a Shapirellie,  and the purses such a variety, it became hard to choose but I selected those that went well with my personal style,  but she had several suits that fit me just beautifully, one in Dark grey,  two in black, and one in a very dark green, then there was a black jacket with (I'm sorry to say but remember the suit is over 60 years old) a leopard print collar and cuffs, and it was just like new. 

Sis also found wonderful things as well and we were estatic with our finds, so over coffee and coffee cake we made our purchases.   Then our friend showed us her cosmetic purchases from Besame Cosmetics, such a deep purple lipstick almost like liquorish,  and the powder compact so sweet and totally retro.  I love Besame Cosmetics the colors are perfect for me.

Our friend said she had other things to go through but she was going to sell what she had left over first but she said she'd call us for first refusal.   That helped us with our Vintage fix for now.

When we got home and carefully put our things away we went to the Kitchen and started our canning project first with sterilizing the jars and lids and seals, we decided that with the apricots we'd wash and cut them in half removing the seed, cook them and put them up as halves, the cherries we removed the stems those were going to be worked on Sunday, once we got the apricots ready and the jars sterlized it was putting them in and carefully sealing them then allowing them to cool,  while that was happening we prepared the plums for Sundays project to make plum jam, we'd do that first and then we'd work on the cherries,  right now I'm taking a break and so is Sis, while Doyle is continuting to halve the cherries since the Plums are done, Dinner is going to be take out tonight, Doyle will get it while we clean up the kitchen. 

I preferr to make dinner as it's cheaper and healthier but with projects like this sometimes one has to do take out.  At least yesterday Doyle wrote out the labels and put them on when the jar were cool and has the rest of them ready. 

Sometimes doing old Fashioned things is very theraputic,  we forget the old ways so it becomes important to return to them just to remember how things use to be. 

Now I must go, we still have the cherries to finish. 

Later Darklings

Of Death and Darkness, the changes in my life~~~

Hello My Darklings




In my previous post on my beauty routine, I had a chance to write that out over a period of time, but this one, I wrote in the quiet of the evening over a few days, and with reflection. This morning I was up very early, taking Belladonna for her walk and enjoying the hint of heat in the air, the bird song, the way the sun slowly brightened the landscape, flowers, early squirrels looking for food and scampering away.



I felt a mixture of enjoyment of the beauty around me and sadness that someone I dearly loved was not physically here to enjoy it. When I returned I could hear my sister and Doyle moving around, we will leave in a few minutes to go out for breakfast, Belladonna in her carry-along. But while I’m waiting for them I re-read what I have written about my beloved Brother, his was the 2nd major tragedy that helped complete my turning to the Dark side of life, to my own type of Gothicness.



In this post I’m going to ramble down a sad portion of my Memory Lane, it may even explain why my mental thinking is the way it is, why I turned towards the Goth side of life.



On our Spa Weekend, my sister and I, in a period of deep reflection talked about our older brother, Matt. Now Darklings I have mentioned my sister and my younger brother but we did have an older brother and he was another tragedy in mine and my family’s life.



His was a death that should not have happened but it did. Matt was 8 years older than I, born before the start of WWII, and with Dad in the military there was a delay before there were younger siblings. Dad wrote long letters to Mother and Matt, he and Mother had devised a code to say where he was based when over seas, sometimes it was certain words, sometimes it was coded in a poem.



According to Mother, when she got a letter from Dad, Matt became excited and got out the maps and code book, together they followed the military movements carefully, then finally in 1946 when Dad was de-mobbed it was a joyous re-union.



Matt during the War Years, developed a liking for ciphers, and codes, Dad through a police friend was able to get a radio scanner for Matt so he could follow what was happening with our local and county police department. Because of this he knew what was happening in our town before it was printed in the paper, later because of his interest in hidden things, he learned about code words for mind reading acts, he and Mother develop their own mind reading act for amateur programs at the local Elks lodge that entertained and amazed people. Later as I grew up he taught me code words so we could communicate with each other while other people were around and have the others not know. At times it became very handy and Matt taught me how to be secretive without showing that I was.



Later Matt became adapt at spotting suspicious activity, or seeing that something was not quite right, and yet being “invisible”. Instead of privately investigating he’d go to the police station to talk to Dad’s police friend, Tom and report to him what he’d seen. More than once his observations helped crack a crime problem. My brother wanted to be a police investigator. He read the Sherlock Holmes stories, books on spies and how to spy.



But Dad wanted him to eventually go to college and be something else, he felt that what Matt was doing could become dangerous. But I and Sis thought that Matt was a hero, our younger brother admired him for his cleverness. Matt attained good grades in grammar and High School, and received a scholarship for college, we could not have been happier for him. He decided to major in psychology, he felt that would be a good basis for police investigation.



Through him both Sis and I learned about the behavior of people, but our earlier experiences with our older brother also taught us to observe people’s actions and to always be suspicious. We also, through his tutoring, learned code words and simple actions to signal to each other our thoughts when with a group of people. On hot days with the use of a simple fan to fan ourselves we could communicate with each other over a limited distance.



All of us loved to watch and listen to the mystery programs both on the radio (yes, at one time radio had programs much like television) and on T.V., because of this Dad would refer to us as the local version of “The Baker Street” irregulars. And when his police friend came over to visit we were always included in the adult conversations. In many ways it cautioned us about “evil people” and that men, women and sometimes children could be “evil”.



In those days we could wander all over town and not be afraid of being kidnapped, we learned from our brother, and most of the time he’d be with us, keeping an eye on us. If he wasn’t around we’d stay close to home or let our parents know if we were at a friends house. We made it a policy to let our parents know by phone when we arrived and when we were leaving, Matt taught us that as a pre-caution.



Dad’s police friend Tom use to quote several lines from Shakespeare “To smile and smile and still be a villain” and Poloneus speech to Laretes, as well as explaining Hamlet’s remark “The play’s the think where upon to catch the conscious of the King”. He told us that the play Hamlet and Macbeth were murder mysteries, how was Hamlet going to prove that his uncle was a murderer, Hamlet was not indecisive, but needed public proof, unfortunately, said Tom, Shakespeare could not find the words to express that, except on a spiritual level.



Macbeth was more psychological, seeing how greed, vaulted ambitions could lead to murder and madness, unfortunately to be in politics, said Tom, it was best to not have a conscious. Even today I agree with Tom’s assessment.



Over the years we all, Dad, Mom, my siblings, Grandma, Uncle Mannie and Dad’s friend Tom, when we got together would discuss the dark side of human nature. And strangely enough Matt, I and Sis enjoyed it. Our younger brother would go off and play with his toy soldiers or listen to a sports game on the radio and in his own way tuned out, until dessert was served.



This along with other personal experiences led to my becoming more Goth, more darkly inclined.



Then one day tragedy happened. Matt disappeared, it was a Friday, he went to his college classes as usual, he was in the middle of his Senior year in college and working hard on his paper to receive a Bachelors in psychology, he was planning to go back to get a Masters and was being mentored by one of the psychology professors. For the last two years he was living in a dorm near the college but was always calling home to talk to someone in the family to stay in touch, sometimes calling as much as 3 times a day. Mom always sent to him a roll of dimes so he could call, and reverse the charges. Dad didn’t mind, it was one bill he liked paying, just to be in touch with his oldest child.



Matt had friends and acquaintances in college as well as home, lots of times he take the bus home for the weekends unless he had important exams or a paper that needed to be presented but he’d call in advance to let us know.



This time there was only one call, to say he was coming home for the weekend and to not to worry he was going to make arrangements for a friend to pick him up at the bus station and bring him home, we didn’t ask who it was.



He never made it.



We knew what the bus schedule was and we knew what time the last bus would arrive and even if it was late Dad would stay up to greet Matt when he got home, but he didn’t get home.



After Midnight Dad called Tom to find out if there was any accidents on the highway or in town, any kind of delay, there wasn’t. Tom was worried as well but protocol demanded that a person had to be missing 48 hours, I remember how upset Dad became saying to Tom that Matt could be seriously injured and time was a factor, so Tom bent the rules.



In tracing Matt’s movements after his last class, we discovered that he went and talked to his Professor and gave him his paper for review, grabbed a bite to eat with a couple of classmates and they saw him off on the last bus that left the campus that evening, he caught his connecting bus and the driver remembered seeing him get off as he was his last passenger. Before the bus driver pulled away he remembered Matt looking around for someone but didn’t see him and said to the driver as the driver held the door open “I’m sure my friend will be here soon, Thanks!” waved and the bus driver pulled away. But as the driver pulled away he saw a dark older model car go in the opposite direction then do a U-turn and pull up to where Matt was. That was the last time anyone saw him.



The days that followed were agony, Mother and Dad were trying to be brave, Grandma came to the house and stayed with us, Sis, our younger brother and I were told not to leave the house unless an adult was with us or to play in the back yard, but we didn’t feel like playing, we just quietly talked about Matt’s disappearance.



Uncle Mannie showed up about a week later after finishing an out of town contracting job. When we wanted to go to the store Uncle Mannie went with us, he made himself useful around the house doing repairs, yard work or painting to keep himself busy and to free up Dad so Dad could talk to our brothers friends. Tom worked the case looking for any possible clue.



Matt had been missing for three weeks, when one of our neighbors asked if we could baby-sit her dog, a beagle named Sammy, we loved Sammy, if we wanted to play with him she’d let us because it was good exercise for such an active dog. His owner was going out of town for a few days and knew we’d take good care of the dog. One game that we played with Sammy often was “seek”, we’d hide something of ours, like a doll or a shoe or something then we’d have Sammy sniff our hands and then say “seek” and Sammy would always find what ever was hidden making a howling bark too when on the trail, which the other neighbors didn’t exactly appreciate.



We had Sammy in our yard and Uncle Mannie was watching us, when we did “seek” Uncle Mannie jumped up, went into the house and brought out Dad, Dad saw what Sammy did. Now Sammy was not a trained blood hound or what now a days people would call Cadaver Dogs, but he had a good nose.



By this time Tom and the other officers had figured that Matt had been murdered, and it was narrowed down to 3 suspects. Sis and I knew them but there was one we really didn’t like, and we told Matt some months before we didn’t like him, he seemed “off”, Matt understood but said that this friend had been helpful with some research and was just quirky. But I remembered telling Matt that I thought his friend hated him and explained to him why I thought that, Matt understood and promised to stay away from him if we felt that way.



Dad told Tom about Sammy, Tom thought it was crazy but thought that the idea of using Sammy might reveal something. Sammy revealed more than that. He found Matt’s body, or really a part of his body. My brother had been hacked into sections and buried in different spots. Sammy found Matt’s head buried in the back yard of the parents home of the guy Sis and I didn’t like. The person later showed where the rest of Matt was buried.



The reason he killed Matt was jealousy. It seems that the person that Matt had hoped would be able to pick him up was sick so Matt reluctantly called this guy, because he knew his other friends were out of town and he knew the family car was in the shop so Dad would be unable pick him up at the bus stop.



While they were driving to our house Matt talked to him about the final paper and about graduation and this was the trigger that set his alleged friend off, in stead of taking the usual route home he took a side route that was more deserted, claiming that road work was being done on the street, Matt was tired and just let the explanation go, then on an empty stretch of road he said something was wrong with the front passenger tire and pulled over, Matt got out to check and his friend ran over him with the car. He dumped the body into the trunk and later went to a deserted place and hacked the body into sections burying parts here and there with the head perversely buried in his parents back yard with some tomato plants on top.



Matt’s friend was brilliant, but quirky, sometimes talking about theories about President Roosevelt having been murdered and other things that was too fantastic to believe. He had a temper which would go off if he became too agitated, his parents refused to have him attend college because of his behavior, and instead he worked for a man that his parents knew, it was a menial almost degrading job for someone of his intelligence, but his behavior was, in his parents mind, too unstable. How right they were.



Matt liked the guy and appreciated how smart he was and thought that by having him do some research work it would make him feel important and valuable. At first it seemed to work that way, but then his friend began to resent Matt’s kindness, which even included going so far as to giving his friend credit for uncovering information that helped Matt pull his research papers together. Matt talked to his Professor to see if there was some way the guy could work for the college. But because Matt was going to college and graduating and going back for a Master’s, it tipped this man into a blind rage.



The guy never went to trial for his crime, when Sammy found Matt’s head, he revealed where the rest of Matt’s body was, then he went complete insane. He died a few years later in a fire at the mental institution where he was confined, it appears the fire was an electrical short that started in his room. When Mother heard that she had a very satisfied look on her face remarking at the dinner table to Dad “Matt took care of him”. In the years between Matt’s death and the death of his murderer, everyone was trying to get their lives put back together, Mother and Dad realized even in their grief that I especially was having a hard time, Matt had gone to college when my friend Betty had died and now this but it wasn’t until we heard about Matt’s killer having died in a horrible way could we finally put things behind us. Our parents and grandmother stopped having that haunted look. Uncle Mannie was credited with the solution to finding Matt. Tom received a promotion in the Department. In the end we all finally had a form of closure.



When Sis and I talked about our older brother and how much he had influenced us alive and dead and our choices, it wasn’t so much a dark cloud as a dark wing, that sped us to look into the darkness of people’s minds. We always were interested in the dark twistings of people’s minds after that, Mom and Dad never prevented us from reading about gruesome murder’s in the newspapers or on Television. The Death of John F. Kennedy was played out before us on the Media, that we even began to think about conspiracies even to this very day, the sunshine of our Camelot died for us a year before and now for the nation, we never looked at anything or anyone the same way again, we never trusted anything or anyone the same way again.



Sis and I fell back into using the code words, hand and facial signals, even again on hot days the fan signals to communicate. Our brother eventually learned as well. All three of us watched people more closely, more suspiciously, and it carried over into our college years, and beyond. I learned to shoot a gun, and carried a form of pepper spray when I worked nights, we never had our doors unlocked ever again. When either of us traveled alone we always used precautions to avoid harm. And today over 50 years later we are still suspicious, even more so, because we know and understand the dark side of the mind. Our brother even in death, taught us that.



Later Darklings

Of Updates on my Kitchen fire and other things~~~~

Well Darklings,

Yesterday the insurance man came by and he and my friend Hank the contractor went over things, all I could do was hover and make a comment or two or express my personal concerns.

Because the washing machine and the stove was already in the house when I moved in, it was hard to determine a value of replacement, the dryer was no problem I had the bill for that and it wasn't that old.

They factor in depreciation as well, which is a bit dis-heartening, but its just to give you enough money to get the basic things, not all the "whistles and bells".   It was also discovered that the walls in the basement laundry room will have to be replaced since they were sheet rock.

The cost of the work to fix up the kitchen will be covered as well as the clean up which is good, so it will go into a fund and then bills submitted will be paid out of that fund to avoid any fraud.  Hanks' been through this process before and said for me to not worry.

Today Hank assigned a two man team to start clean up and repairs and he covered the old stove that was outside with a plastic tarp to discourage scavenging.  The burn wood that was out side has been removed already.

The workmen are Hispanic and I had fun with one of them, he got confused as to where the downstairs bathroom is, the portajohn had not arrived yet, so I see him in the hall and he's looking at the mounted Lion's Head.   Now one of my sister's friends have rigged "Kitty Kat" to roar either by stepping on a stair tread, or if you get to close to the head it breaks a circuit, and Sis had set it up for the latter. 

Out of curiosity He gets close to the Lion's head and triggered Kitty Kat to roar, I saw him jump nearly 10 feet off the ground, he stares at it then I come up behind him without him knowing and said "Oh I'm sorry if Kitty Kat frightened you, he usually warns strangers to be careful"   Well the poor man nearly fainted and said in his best Spanish his apologies, I showed him where the downstairs bathroom was located.

Later I heard him say to his co-worker about what Kitty Kat did and that La Senora must be very brave to deal with El Diablo.   Needless to say they were very happy when the Portajohn was in place.

Hank just came by to see the progress and if the damage was more extensive then planned.   He privately told me that his workers are now afraid to go into the rest of the house except the area's to work on, they think its haunted.  I asked him if he thought it was,  he just grinned and said "I'm planning on bringing my little grandkids here for Halloween, if you can get Kitty-Kat to roar for them and if they can take a tour of your house when you have it decorated, it will be a kick for them."   He said he knew where to find a stuffed swordfish like the one in the Addams Family  "All I have to find is a manikin leg and a flipper"  I have a feeling he's getting into the 'spirit' of the house.

Louise has checked the rest of the house for soot and it did get into the breakfast nook, and a bit into the dinning room,  she said she'll have her daughter come with her tomorrow to help with cleaning the soot, but I told her that I have a cleaning service as well, she said that what is in the kitchen and the breakfast nook is beyond the cleaning service.   So we came to an agreement on it and I'm glad that she can help me, if there is other cleaning problems I'll talk to my cleaning service and we'll go from there.

I'm going to be carefully saving a lot of submitted billing.

Doyle is going to treat all of us to dinner tonight, but we also figured that we can buy Deli things that can be heated in the microwave and a lot of salads as well.  Tomorrow we'll check the plates and glassware to see if they need to be washed,  Doyle bought a hot plate to heat water for dish washing and face washing, my neighbor has been generous to allow us to use their shower until our gas line is turned on.  Hank said that will happen tomorrow, once the new gas line is installed in the kitchen with its new shut off valve.

So Hot Water by tomorrow evening.  We'll all be very happy.

I just found out that the deceased Boston Bombers body was buried in a Muslim cemetery in Virginia thanks to the efforts of a Christian woman, many people are not happy about that.  It is their feeling that such a person to willfully cause such harm should not be entitled to a proper burial, for fear that others will create him to be a martyr.  Only in sick minds would that happen, but then there are sick people out there.

The mummified head that was found in an Oakland recycling center is being treated as a homicide but where it came from is a puzzlement until the deceased can be I.D'ed, which could take some time.

The two women who were burned in the Limo fire, one has been release and the other's condition has been upgraded to good. 

My sister has shown me photo's that she received via e-mail of her grand daughter's prom picture, so beautiful and she and her date and their friends went to the prom with an adult escort in a white stretch Limo, so beautiful and so elegant, all had a wonderful time.  Sis had tears in her eyes, yes they do grow up so quickly.  And we received word that Sis's other daughter is expecting a baby in October maybe around October 31st.  That would be such a "hoot!" if that were to happen, but babies will come when they want to come.  Sis is excited, another grandbaby to spoil.

Oakland has now had three police chiefs in as many days, I sincerely hope the current one stays the course, but It all depends on the Mayor and the Mayor's office letting the Chief do what he can to implement the recommendations as suggested in the Bratton report, and not interfering as she has been doing.  I did not vote for her as I felt she would not be effective and I was right.

I am having a laugh about the newly designed eastern span of the bay bridge and their support bolts problems,  I said to Doyle that the design was too radical for that location and I felt that something would go wrong and I was right again,  as much as I hate to say it I will never feel safe going over that new bridge, something inside of me says its going to 'fail'.   Am I being morbid?  Of course I am.  The old bridge only failed at the one spot that the early bridge designers said was the weakest spot the rest of it held up.  Now they are building a new bridge where everything can fail.

It is just like these so-called yachts that are racing in the America's cup races, they are NOT yachts but catamarans, and I've seen them tip on a turn on one pon-toon, catamarans are not for racing not with over size sails that make the catamarans top heavy and can over balance them.  And it seems that the Americas Cup has a rule in which the winner of the previous race can state which type of boat should be raced and the idiot has suggested these designs which were designed on computers not on proven water conditions, no wonder they've had several boats smashed and broken and one of their sailors drown.  I feel that rule should be changed so that people on the Americas cup board should make the rules of what type of boat and certain limitations, not those that hurt and kill people.  Maybe the wife of the sailor that drowned should sue last years winner for making such dangerous suggestions and the Americas Cup for allowing it.

Doyle says at least its not like NASCAR or the Indy 500 where parts of the car could go into the stands and hurt people.  I won't argue with him, he's in deep enough trouble.

Doyle will be home for the next few days which is good, he can co-ordinate with his friends about what to do with the old washer and dryer.   Sis has the phone number and address of the shop that sells restored vintage stoves, tonight after dinner we'll measure the space and then measure the old stove and get an idea of what will fit.

My next posts will be about other things that I have been planning to write about, until another day, now I'm going to first pick up Belladonna, she has been at the Doggie Hotel far too long, she'll think her Mommy abandon her.

Later Darklings

Of More Updates and a tragic Limo fire~~~~

Hello My Darklings,

Just as I suspected the suspect in the Boston Bombing, the teenage friend of the 2nd bomber, who was accused by the FBI of lying has been released on Bond and other strict restrictions.  Many people are angry about that and feel that he should remain in jail with his friends, his lawyer says they will prove him innocent, but frankly I don't think so.  And if he is found guilty on this Federal charge he could be incarcerated for as much as 8 years.

I talked to Doyle on the phone about this, he's still out of town on assignment, and he is a bit "blood thirsty" saying that maybe other "young fools" should learn from this.  I'm remaining neutral although I do lean towards the "as you sow, so shall ye reap" belief.

The wild fires are calming down with the cooler weather and I hope it will help.  The tragic explosion in West (name of the town)  Texas (state) was caused by Ammonia Nitrate, killing 14 people and injuring 200.

I remember for a period of time my parents raising about a dozen chickens, with them scraping and pecking and my parents growing vegetables and a few fruit trees and those plants did wonderfully by the natural way of growing.  This type of fertilizer is dangerous, and I think new regulations will be put into place.

This weekend a Limousine carrying 9 ladies who were celebrating a upcoming ceremony for one of them, somehow caught on fire, killing 5 of the 9 ladies, 4 managed to get out as well as the driver, one of the ladies killed was the bride to be.  Limo fires are very rare, so this one is going to be investigated and I think Limo's may have to be re-designed because of this.

I did promise I would get away from tragedy, but it seems to be all around me right now.  So my sister and I are going to plan a little get-away this weekend, to where I don't know, she is going to surprise me.

Sis's progress on purchasing the house is moving much faster than anticipated, it seems the Bank is happy to quickly unload this house, and it seems to be moving in her favor.  She is excited about it and so am I.

She has not owned a house since her divorce some years ago, but her ex-husband and his friend said they can recommend some people to help her out on repairs if we are stumped, she does know she'll need a painter and a roofer, so she is getting a lot of recommendations.  She is so happy about this.

I'll have to close for now, but I do want to say that we did go to that artist reception last Saturday evening, of the young lady who dresses only in white and gold.  I think I'll save those thoughts for another time.

Later Darklings

Of thoughts on the Boston Tragedy and April 20th~~~~

Dear Darklings,

There are no words that I can say to express thoughts on this senseless tragedy that has happened in Boston,  except that it is a reminder that even in peaceful places there is evil.

Every year I have always been afraid of the date April 20th, long, long before anyone knew of its significance.

It was not April 15 income tax day, that was a given and a joke and could be dealt with and it was never April 9 or December 9 when we have to pay property taxes, that could be dealt with.

But April 20th, it always seemed something evil or insidious would happen on or about that date, never much after, but always just before or on.    My eldest Brother died that day in a senseless murder and then when studying history I discovered whose birthday it was in history.

April 20th is Hitler's birthday----one of the most evil men to have encouraged mass murder in the 20th century.

It seems---with the exception of Sept 11----a number of major tragedies have happened on or about that day, the Columbine shootings April 20th, Virgina Tech shootings April 16th, Oklahoma City Bombing April 19th,  Waco siege ending on April 19th  and now Boston April 15th.

Technically speaking in Boston it is April 19th that is called Patriot's Day for two battles in the American Revolution, but they moved it to be celebrated on the 3rd Monday in April in the mid-1960's and also hold the Boston Marathon, so there are two Patriots Days.

This is not to be confused with Patriot Day (minus the "s") on Sept 11.

But always the week before April 20th I always dread that time.  I always made arrangements to not go to work that day and to stay home, I'd pray that my love one's would be safe.   But now I can see we are never safe and we need to take one day at a time, enjoy what we have and hug and love our families, never argue or if you do at least work toward making up.

My eldest brother was 10 years older than me, and I looked up to him as a hero, he had his faults but I always remember him saying to me "Don't put me up in the clouds sis, I make mistakes, I'm human."

His death started me trying to fathom the human mind and its evil twists and turns.   I've read books and essays about Evil in all its disguises, I took classes in college to understand psychology of the human mind, but then there are things buried so deep into the human mind of such depravity, that I am not surprised when something like this surfaces.

All we can do is pray and draw strength for us to do better, once the answers are found we can understand the sick, twisted convolutions of this sick mind.

Doyle has a strong suspicion that it is the work of a lone individual, trying to make some sort of statement, of what is any one's guess, the fact that a total of 4 devices, two exploded and two un-exploded were found, and done in a way that suggest an amateur but one who has studied bombings.   We may find a young man, a loner in his early 20ties, disenfranchised with the world, or an older man who lost his job and can only feel power in terrorism.

Either way it is to gain a sense of power by doing a heinous act of destruction and death upon innocent people families, children, wives, husbands, brothers and sisters and good friends.   This person has no soul, has no moral sense of right or wrong.  This person has the "dark spot" in his brain that makes him an animal without morals.   I say him, because mostly men will do this sort of thing, women seek to personalize it by doing it to only one or several particular individuals. 

Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but I sense this is a lone male. An evil and insidious beast, who makes the animals of the wild look like saints.

I must go now Darklings, I have an appointment with my lawyer, as sad as this event is to those that are in the midst of it, for the rest of the world, time can only stop for a moment and then life needs to continue, I'll mourn later.

Later Darklings

Of the tragedy at the Boston Marathon~~~~

Dear Darklings,

This is so heartbreaking.

So Far two people are dead, one an 8 year old child, the injured are now up to 132, with 10 people having limbs amputated, some of them children.

Diane Fienstein is calling this a terrorist act, but whether its home or foreign no word as yet.

My friends are safe, one got ill 1/4 of the way into the run and his friend stopped to help him so they called on their cell phone their family members to come to them, far away from the explosions. 

The alleged explosion at the JFK Library was a fire in a maintenance room, not sure if its related or just coincidence.

Poor Louise didn't want to go home but I told her if she didn't her family would worry, and then my sister arrived home all safe, so Louise went home and she will call us when she arrives.

I had to leave the television for a short while, so my mind can take this in.

This is the dark side of life that my mind tries to fathom, the evil that is in one's soul that they can do this without a single thought of who would be harmed,  children, families.  

And so far no one is claiming responsibility, which I find odd.  Rumor has it that they were like pipe bombs, but no facts as yet.

My mind is reeling at this evil.  Trying to fathom why someone would do this.

Must go now, my sister is recommending that we order something delivered, but right now I have no appetite.

Later Darklings

Of Horror at the Boston Marathon~~~~

Oh My Darklings,

A horrible, horrible event happened a short while ago, two explosions at the Boston Marathon went off, killing at least 2 people, injuring 50 more, many with severed limbs, at least 8 people critically!

2 more explosive devises were found but had not gone off,  another explosion happened an hour later at the John F. Kennedy Library, no word if anyone had been injured.

Rumors are going around that a suspect has been captured, but so far no word on the news feed.

Doyle called me and said he was called in to assist with security as San Francisco and Oakland has been put on high alert as well as other major cities.

I have several friends who run in the marathon, but I cannot get in touch with them, I can only pray they are safe. 

My sister called me to see if I and Louise are O.K. but right now I am glued to the television, Louise God Bless her is praying and now I am going to do the same.

Later My Darklings