It's Father's Day~~~

Hello Darklings,

Yes it's Father's Day, many of us were lucky to have great, or good or decent Dad's, and there were some not so lucky.   For those of you this day is just like any other but for those who were fortunate to have wonderful Father's, depending upon age, it's a time for either celebrating or remembering.

This morning Sis and I went to the cemetery to put flowers on Mom and Dad's grave, we even threw in some of those 4th of July decorations,  Just to say "Hi Dad".   Doyle was on his cell phone getting phone calls from his children and making arrangements to go down to San Diego to visit them next month. 

Sis called her ex-husband check in with him to say "Hi" he was visiting the kids and is doing well.

Later we went to my brother's for Bar-B-Que, and I'm posting from his computer, as he is doing the final touches of making burnt offerings to the Propane Gods.

It's the first really Big celebration in their new home, and they are proud of it, it still has some work to be done but all in all in good shape.

As we sit around we remember things our Dad did, espeically about the time when we were in this parking lot and some drunk nearly clipped Mom and she got so mad she slammed her umbrella on his car.  Oh he was a big brusier.  But Dad was gallant, he just picked up Mom, threw her over his shoulder and carried her to the car, while she was yelling unflattering discriptions to the man.  

I'll never forget Dad's remark "Toots, don't start something I can't finish!"   I'm not saying Dad was a coward, he wasn't, but sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.  And beside us children were with them.  But Mom was like a bantam rooster with its feathers fluffed up.

We laughed about it for days.

So Darklings, if you are lucky to have had a great Dad or a positive male role model, raise a glass to their memory, and be thankful.

Later Darklings.

Of Exhausted putting up fruit~~~~

Well Darklings,

We finished putting up the last of the fruit, plum jam, cooking, prepping the jars and lids, it got warm in the kitchen, Sis and I sweating, but all worth it.

Right now the jars are cooling, Doyle printed up more labels all ready to go.  

Sis and I finished the clean up and putting everything except the filled jars, away, no the jars are cooling down in the warm kitchen,  they will be put away later.

Sis is sitting across from me with her feet up, fanning herself with the bottom of her apron, I can still feel the trickle of sweat going down my back and across my forehead, in a few minutes we will flip a coin to see who uses the shower first. 

Whoops, no Sis just dashed upstairs laughing and saying "Haw, Haw I'm going first!"  There are times when we don't feel like we're in our sixties but still young girls, giggling, fussing, sometimes feuding but not often as we always make up, sharing, hugging, and reminiscing.

While Sis was fanning herself for a brief moment I thought it was Mom as she use to do the same thing.  And Dad would call this place called Lola's near our house and order chicken dinners with French fries (big cut deep crispy fries) for pick up.  Then he and our brothers would go and get the dinners while Mom and us girls got cleaned up.

Those were wonderful days, oh there'd be bad times as well, but the good times always outweighed the bad times, like the time our youngest brother came home with 6 baby chicks from a neighbor who had chickens and a whole bunch of chicks had hatched in his brooder, and Mom saying "where are we going to keep them? we need to keep them warm"  and Dad went to the man and came home with a hen that was past laying eggs, she was going to be the man's dinner but said "Pay me $3 and ya got yur self a broodin' hen"  Well she did take good care of those chicks, which fortunately turned out to be hens and we had eggs, even the Mama hen would lay one or two on occasion,  Dad building a chicken coop, and us having a moving fence around the veggies so the chickens could pick at bugs and scratch the soil.

We never ate any of the chickens even when they stopped laying eggs, they could turn over and enrich the soil for the veggies real good.    Sometimes one would escape and come into the house through the back door and poke around the kitchen while Mom prepared dinner, then when dinner was almost ready she'd say to the hen, "whoever you are time to go to bed" and shoo the hen out and us kids would put them in their coop.

The original Lola's is long gone, but someone told me that there is another near-by, we'll have to check it out sometime, but now Doyle is saying to me "Shower, I'm going to get KFC"

In a way some things never really change.

Later Darklings

Of the President's Speech and Belladonna got sick~~~

Hello My Darklings,

First I want to reasure you all that Belladonna is now doing just fine, a little tummy upset, but Doyle was worried.  Truthfully he was freaking out as the youngsters would say.

Last night Sis and I were at the Film Noir Festival, and they were showing the films from Germany, I'm almost overdosing on all of this, but we were having such fun meeting wonderful people, and the films are marvelous.  So many people wearing vintage style, but what both Sis and I noticed is that the ladies really do not know that you are suppose to wear a proper foundation garment to help make your clothing fit properly, and the hair,  none of the ladies understand that to help make the hair do what you want it to do, a proper cut and a good perm is essential. 

With my back I need to wear a long line bra that not only does what its suppose to do in the front **wink, wink** but also give a light support to my spine so I won't re-injure it.  It saves a lot of pain.  Sis thinks I should be a vintage Fashion Divanesta...I'm beginning to think so.

Although I am looking forward to the Vintage Fashion Expo in March, a sensory overload, that I will enjoy.

We left Doyle alone at home, he had to work late for the last few days so he's been baby sitting the "doggie gang of two" and being a bachelor for a few hours.

But last night when we got home, no Doyle, no dogs, just a note that Weiner Dog was with Brian and Doyle had taken Belladonna to the emergency Vet.  Called him on his cell and he told us that Belladonna is going to be fine, just indigestion and he'd be home with the little darling soon.

So Sis picked up Weiner Dog from Brian, who said he did enjoy the doggie company, and admitted that he had never seen such a little dog be so down cast without his doggie friend, then when Doyle came home with Belladonna he filled us in.

Doyle came home turned on the T.V. to catch the news,  only to discover that the President was on, he was on every important station, saying (according to Doyle) the usual Blah, Blah, Blah, so Doyle decided to make his own dinner, eggs scrambled with hot links sauseges, I won't touch it, not that I don't like it but its too peppery for me, and he added some cheese slices to it---calling it scrambled mess---Well it's his choice of foods, how he doesn't have high chloresterol and high blood pressure I'll never know, but he doesn't.

Well as he was scooping it out of the pan some of it landed on the floor and as you know Dogs consider anything on the floor theirs---Belladonna got the bulk of it, with Weiner Dog only getting a little egg.  Doyle cleaned up the floor and then proceeded to enjoy his dinner.  He was thinking of popping in a DVD while the President was flapping his gums (Doyle's words), when he realized that the dogs needed to be let out.

After washing dishes and cleaning up he went to chose a DVD when Belladonna started heaving, and everything came up including some strange things that didn't look like what Doyle cooked, Doyle became concerned that the dog might have eaten something poisonous out back, there had been a strange person hanging around the neighborhood lately and Doyle got very worried.

He took Weiner over to Brians, wrote a hasty note, collected what Belladonna threw up, bundled the dog and the "stuff" into his car and dashed to the emergency Vet, with Belladonna vomiting on his car rug and seat.

End result was that Belladonna's stomach cannot handle hot links and cheese, as a matter of fact, cheese, like chocolate and alcohol is not good for dogs, and the strange stuff was grasses that Belladonna ate to vomit.

The Vet gave the little thing a mild sedative to prevent more heaving, and to make sure she had plenty of water.   She had not been poisoned.  A costly bill for Doyle but he said it was worth it, and went outside to clean his car rug and seat, while Sis and I crooned over the little sick darling and Weiner Dog licked her ear in joy.  Brain saying that since he was up went out to help Doyle.

We were too wound up to go to bed and asked the men what they thought of what the President had to say.
Brian said that at least he talked about improving wages but was concerned that by increasing the minimum wage it may prompt businesses to let people go because business is really not all that great, what with cheap products coming from over seas.  Doyle said that is fine to increase the minimum wage but should also increase the jobs as well and not have large companies farm out jobs overseas, bring manufacturing and jobs in general back here.  He said he is sick and tired of having to call someone find out that they are overseas and their English is not all that good, he's had that happen too often.  Some of what he's said is true, we should be an exporter of goods not an importer, if we cannot make our own goods then we are in trouble.

Is there an answer?  I do not know, but I feel that when a person has to work two jobs just to make ends meet, something is wrong.  When there are 100 people vieing for the same job, something is wrong.  I feel that the answer is a combination of things, create more jobs here, stop farming them out, and yes increase the minimum wage, and look at what big corporations are harming, we have sustainable products and devices but they are not being put to use.  Why use corn to make an additive to oil, when other products work just as well---that is one example, we need to adapt.  Yes there is Climate change but it is largely cyclic although the human interference is not helping and only increases pollution, we need to adapt to these changes, like in 700 AD wheat grew in Greenland because the land was warmer than it is now, that is a cyclic change---but I know most people won't believe me.  They'll belive Al Gore the alleged father of the internet (as I snort in derision).

I'll leave that subject, and instead nag my Congress person.

I still have to laugh at Doyle's reaction that the president was on every station of importance.  Sis remarked to me "Remember when we were young and how upset we'd get that we couldn't watch our programs because the president was making a boring old speech?"   I think Jeff Foxworthy said it best----"The President's on!!!   He's on EVERY Station!!!!   We're Gonna miss FLIPPER!!!!"   (Flipper was a t.v. show about a smart Dolphin that did rescues like the Dog Lassie)

Oh I laugh at that thought, and then I reminded her the time she was staying with me in between one of her trips and we sat down to watch "Diagnosis Murder" with Dick Van Dyke, it was about a magician and murder and right in the middle of it the news cut to the slow speed chase by the police of O.J. Simpson in the white bronco, and he was threatening to shoot himself,  I said to her and asked her "And what did you say when that happened!!"   She at least had the courtesy to blush and admit that she yelled at the T.V. set saying  "So PULL the (G.D.) Trigger and get back to Diagnosis Murder!!"

She never lived that down....We are a sick minded group (not really)  

Brian looked at her and said "I never knew you could be so blood thirsty!"  Well both she and I we were trying to have a relaxing evening and just did not need to deal with that, it was in the police's hands as far as we were concern.   But we admitted that the News is like the Gladiator Games, lots of times it really isn't about reporting the news but having us watch a "train wreck" while its happening.  Although in that instance NOTHING happened.

And then Belladonna looked at us and gave a big yawn and sigh and settled into my arms to sleep.  For us it was a signal ---time for us to go to bed.

Tonight we'll be going to another viewing of Film Noir, now I just have to select which "Deadly Dame" outfit to wear tonight.

Later Darklings

Of Wishing you all a Happy New Year for 2014!!!~~~~

Yes Darklings, a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR 2014!!!

We have had our ups and downs this year, here in the States horrible weather conditions, bombings and other tragic situations, and overseas horrible events happening all over, from Europe, Russia, the Phillipines, Japan, Africa too many countries to name.

But here in the United States we've found reasons to hope and be joyful, from the rescue of a little puppy, to young women being found after being imprisoned for nearly 10 years, and the outreach of strangers to help other strangers.

Yes there are times when we wonder about humanity and the human condition and then glimmers of hope and compassion to remind us that all is not lost.

I know that in Asia and in Europe it is already 2014, and in just less than 12 hours here where I'm at, it will be the turn of the year, a new page to write on, a time to improve oneself, to improve relationships or decide which relationships are toxic to one's health and best left alone.

I do not make any resolutions, but I do make a list of what I need to do, yes a "TO DO" List,  this would include repairs or maintance to the house, cars, wardrobe, appliances, what to weed out, sort out, dispose of, donate,  putting together papers for income tax preperation, listing appointments both medical and dental to be made.  Updating my calendar for birthdays, anniversaries, speical events and occasions.

But all of this starts on January 7th---why January 7th?

Well this is something that I and my siblings learned from our parents, and I guess they learned it from their parents.

The true 12 days of Christmas is really from Christmas Day Dec 25 to Epithany or Jan 6 of the following year, in our Family the entire religious season was from Thanksgiving or the Sunday after Thanksgiving to and through Jan 6 Epithany,  from "Stir up Sunday" to "Three Kings Day".  We had our Advent wreath which here in my home we've been observing,  and certain days are set aside to put up the Christmas decorations and the tree, to fill the pantry and make ready both physically and spiritually.

Those Sundays we attended Mass were very important to us,  Mid-night Mass on Christmas Eve although tiring was important to us, and ususally we'd go after visiting relatives for that was how we spent the Day of Christmas Eve, delivering presents, checking on the Grandparents, calling from one house to the other to let them know we were on our way and if we missed someone it was understood that the packages could be found at one or the other Grandparents house, and we always finished at Mom's Mother's house for a late supper, enjoying the Christmas tree making sure Grandma was o.k. making arrangements as to who was going to take her to church on Christmas day, she always said to us that it was hard for her to go to Midnight Mass at her age, Christmas Day was good.

I remember the last Christmas she had and the $2.00 tree but that is a story for another Christmas time.

Then the days after Christmas, writing out thank you notes, putting away the presents received, carefully folding and storing the wrapping paper (if it could be saved), going through the envelopes to make sure nothing was overlooked and checking the return addresses to update the address book and to note any special notes in them. 

When we were children we'd play with out new toys or visit our friends houses to see what they got, if the weather was fine we'd play outside, if not then indoors and watching the sun when it got too low to hurry home,  but as I and eventually Sis got older we'd help out Mom, our older brother (later our younger brother) would help out Dad and we'd be doing lists of things to be done.

Then after we'd help the folks we'd visit our friends.

New Years Eve was mostly the family getting together at one or the other's home, it would be pot luck mostly nibbles and soft drinks, but at midnight out came the champagne, the children and teens would have sparkling Cider,  then just as the clock struck the 12th chime the front door would be flung open to welcome the new year, and we'd go out to the front lawn if the night was dry and yell out Happy New Year, tooting horns and cheering, one Uncle of ours always lite a small string of firecrackers on the sidewalk and we'd cheer and sing Auld Ang Sing, the neighbors would come out as well cheering and yelling,  sometimes dashing across the street to wish us Happy New Year.

Then after an hour or so, things would slowly pack up and we'd all trickle home wishing Happy New Year to one and all.  The next morning We'd get up, breakfast was not eaten unless someone was sick, we'd dress and go to Mass and then afterwards there was always a coffee shop or resteraunt open for New Year's breakfast, but if time was pressing Mom always had pastries ready for us to eat and then we'd go over to one of the Grandparent's house for New Year's Dinner, which was always served by 5 p.m. 

I remember New Years we'd always have Ham, Easter would be Lamb Roast, Halloween roast Chicken, Thanksgiving and Christmas was always Turkey (Impossible to find a Goose to cook but Turkey was a good subsititute.

Every Friday we'd always have Fish, espeically during Lent, I still like to have some form of sea food during Lent.

After the Dinner we'd break up into groups depending upon what was being done, but even way back then, NO Televison, No Radio except for music---it was hard on the men folk, with all the bowl games on, if the games were on before 5 p.m. fine because the women folk were putting together the dinner but during and after dinner completely forbidden, it was a social time for family.  I really liked the idea and fortunately my Sister-in-law is putting that into play.  It will be hard on my brother and the boys but really it is a good thing.

On the days after New Years, we'd start to take down bit by bit the Christmas Decorations in doors with the exception of the manger scene and the Christmas tree, any large outside displays would be taken down except the lights attached to the house.  My Mother always said that the Three Kings needed the light to find their way.  

By the next day, the first thing packed away was the manger scene and then bit by bit the ornaments were removed from the tree and laid out on the couch and over stuffed chair to prevent breakage, the tinsel carefully removed and saved (tinsel was expensive and dangerous to birds to eat), the light would be unpluged first before anything was removed, next was removing the tree skirt, then the last ornament was the angel tree topper, Mother always put it on the dinning room table for safety sake,  then the lights would carefully be removed or unwound from the tree starting from the bottom and slowly working upwards, carefully wound and wrapped so it would not be tangled next year, but somehow it always was.

Then Dad and my older brother would remove the tree from the water tree stand with Mother wrapping a towel around the cut stump to prevent water from getting on the hardwood floor and rug, Dad and my brother carefully carrying the tree out the front door and to the curb to be collected, it always looked so sad and dried up after its Christmas finery was removed, so Sis and I would tie a red bow on the top of it, sort of saying good by to our old friend.  When the Scouts started collecting the trees and we knew what it was going to be used for it didn't seem so bad, it was going to have a new purpose replenishing the soil.

Then out come the boxes to store everything way, oh it would be an all day project, Mother never cooked on that day,  Dad would call an order of food to a place called "Lola's Chicken Dinners", it was the crispiests, most moist, wonderfully cooked chicken we ever had, Nothing at all like KFC, it was the taste of home-made.   When there was a big all day project, we knew it would be "Lola's" that day.   We were sad when "Lola's" closed and then the building burned down, we'd hoped it would be reopened again, but times change.

However vacuming and sweeping tree needles for the next 6 months was a given, even after our careful cleaning when the decorations and ornaments were put away, a tree needle or two or three would always show up.  Mom would always say "I think it wants to let us know its never forgotten."   And that is going to be happening in my home as well.

So tonight Doyle, Coralline and myself will be getting together with Marissa and her folks and brother and young Chris and his parents for a family gathering at a speical place.  We're bringing Brian along, he's been on the phone talking to his ex-wife and children on the phone, making plans to visit during the Summer, I've just been in touch with My Sister while she is visiting her family and I've made arrangements to have our elderly neighbor watch Belladonna and Weiner Dog while we're out.   She is going to make sure they stay indoors because of the possiblity of fireworks in the area.

I've noticed in checking the Stats on my blog I'm being visited not only from the United States and Canada, but also South America, Australia, the United Kingdom and Ireland, Europe, Russia, China, Malaysia, Japan, the Netherlands, France, Germany, even the Middle East, so many countries, I'm glad that you find my blog of interest to you and of some sort of entertainment and perhaps a little insite to parts of the United States, although I am not typical of this country.

To you I wish you a very Happy New Year.

And there have been a few of you who post comments on my blog and take interest in what is going on in my life, to Rebecca, Trisha, Lucretia, Underground for Tea and others Thank you and I wish you all a very Happy, Safe and Wonderful New Year.

See You Next Year Darklings!

From Doyle and Myself Happy New Years Darklings

Of Freezing Cold and maybe other things~~~~

Oh Darklings!!

It is so cold that the outdoor pond froze over, Doyle was out there this morning cracking the ice, so we've put up a plastic cover over it to prevent that from happening again for the next few days,  the pond in the green house with the Koi, is fine and some potted plants have been moved in there when we got the freeze warning. 

Even with the heat on there is still cold spots in the house,  we've been checking for draft spots and have found them,  all we can do is put up old moving blankets over the doors and along the bottom of the doors to keep the drafts out. 

Of course we are wearing our warmest clothing, sweaters, socks and in some cases fingerless gloves for indoors, even Belladonna and Weiner Dog are wearing two sweaters each and do not object to being covered with throw blankets.

Some of the suculents have been frost bitten, but we hope to save them, and other more delicate plants have been covered,  this is the coldest it has been in this area in over 104 years,  fortunately no problems with our water pipes, even the outside garden ones have been wrapped to prevent freezing.  There are birds in the area so I've put out food for them, but we found a squirrel this morning in the garden, we fear the cold may have killed it.  I was sad to see the poor little thing but Doyle said that this winter freeze will prove which one's are the healthiest and hardiest,  I will put out sunflower seeds and walnuts for them, at least give them a fighting chance. 

We've had Brian come over and stay with us, that way he doesn't have to contend with the heating system in Sis's house, which was going to be replaced anyway. 

Coralline's school closed early today and we have her and we'll be bundled up to go and do our tree selections, it will be a tree for the formal parlour, a smaller one for the family parlor and a tiny one for the entrance hall, plus yesterday evening I stopped at my favorite hardware store just across from Bed, Bath and Beyond, to pick up a few things like curtain rods and there I saw it.

Yes Darklings, you can find Black Christmas Trees.  There it was in all it's 7 foot glory, of course its artificial, but I was thinking that the Library is large enough for one, and this was perfect in its Gothicness, I was able to buy, are you ready for this?  Black ornaments and I offset it with red one's as well,  so with red and purple lights on it and a red velvet tree skirt it will be just perfect for its strangeness,   I had been wanting to get a artifical black tree anyway for Halloween and this will do just fine.

I have to laugh when I think of in the 1960's and 70's those aluminum christmas trees with the little pom-poms on the tips, and you had to use a rotating light to light it up.  Thank Goodness our parents didn't fall for that fashion, some of my friends parents did with a few of them having a problem of their tree's going up in flames, well some of my friends thought it was fine to put lights on those trees,  Opps!  Didn't know it could burn.  And there was some sad Christmases because of that. 

When I told Coralline about the Black Tree she was excited about the idea, so this weekend we will be busy, putting on lights and decorating.   But we are going to the Dickens Faire first, must get that in.

But tonight it will be a good hot beef stew, with crusty french bread, and hot spice tea to drink, and hot apple pie.  I think we'll be able to at least put the lights on the trees with all of us working together.

So we'll have a total of 4 trees, 3 fresh cut and one artificial.  And we'll spend the evenings putting up the decorations, nothing could be more fun and in a way relaxing.   We are going to have Coralline for the weekends for this month and for the week after Christmas.  She is looking forward to that, even though her brothers have been much nicer to her, no more tricks or anything like that.

Right now she is tugging my sleeve, yes time to go Doyle has his van ready with ropes and canvas and we have blankets in the van to keep us warm,  so Tree selections it is.

Later Darklings

Of "static on the line", old musty book stores and BART is at it again~~~

Hello Darklings,

Oh yes Rebecca, that book on the Victorian House by Flanders is at the top of my list,  I'll have to see what is offered on Amazon.  

I know I would prefer to go to a local book store, but sometimes they have it and sometimes they don't, and my favorite book store has been closed for a few years, the owner was very up there in years and advertised that he was closing everything 50 to 75% off.  Of course we took advantage of it, it has always been my first place to shop for books, but when I saw how fraile he looked I realized he was doing the right thing.  His son and daughter in law was helping him box and bag books as they sold.  I could see how they were concerned about him,  the daughter in law told me, that ever since the Cat died, its name was Queen Elizabeth, her father in law was not the same afterwards and the Cat was nearly 20 years old.  Very old for a cat.

Then he was selling his book shelves and I put in a bid for 4 of them, so wonderfully old and victorian and got them too,  of course I had to borrow a truck and a friend to help me haul them, and put them into my apartment, now they are in different parts of the house still displaying speical treasures.

I miss Mr. Manning, he reminded me of a faded version of the actor Peter Cushing,  and his book store, it was crowded with books, and delightful things and his cat perched on a speical book shelf on a faded red cushion watching her kingdom, and what made it so speical was the wonderful scents of tea's and such, near his mystery section he also sold teas and tea cups and cozies and tea pots and all kinds of tea things.  I could never leave without buying a tea to try. 

I cannot forget how close to Thanksgiving and Christmas the scent of cinnamon and cloves filled the air, and his huge apolicary jar of ginger candies, "Good for a sore throat or cold" he would say and wrap a few of them in wax paper for me to take, always free.  The spice cookies Phiffin...something, such a treat spicy and sweet with a dusting of powdered sugar to get all over your clothes. 

And Tiffany style lamps to light a dark corner to reveal its treasures.  I would stop there at least once a week especially on my way to work to buy a mystery or informative book,  Mr. Manning knew what bus I had to catch and would warn me so I wouldn't miss it.  If I didn't have time to pay for the book he would hold it for me for next time.     

I miss places like that, if I ever come across a place like that again I would cherish it and support it, but alas, they are disappearing from the scene and will only exist in memory, hidden from view, like Harry Potter's Diagon Alley, a speical memory to go down and re-visit when I open a book, drink a cup of tea and have a ginger candy for a scratchy throat.

***Sigh***

Well now I must deal with the here and now,  I'm glad I only worked a half day today, it gave me a chance to deal with a problem I thought was developing on my phone line and with the rain I was right, the static is painful to the ears and impossible to talk to someone espeically in dealing with business. 

Even Brian at my Sister's house was having the same problem so we knew it had to be a major line across the street where there are trees and branches rubbing, rubbing and wearing out the phone lines, so both he and I put in a "Trouble on the Line" call and I just hate the automatic telephone tree, but at least they have one for static on the line selection, BUT now I have to take tomorrow off because the phone man will be here between 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. HOW DELIGHTFUL!!   Oh well as long as its fixed, that is my concern.

So far though doing e-mail and posting on my blog doesn't seem to be a problem, in the long run I still do preferr a hard wire land line, to me cell phones are not user friendly, the voice keeps breaking up and people have a tendency to wander around their home or office which affects the quality of communication as they fade in and out---I have to keep saying to them that they are fading in and out and breaking up, do they have a spot where the signal is good.  Well of course they do but then they start wandering around again.
I Give Up!!

And its not 'romantic' for me, people do not know how to hold a telephone conversation, or even to say good-bye, or hello,  I had a wrong number call me one time and the man on the other end said to me "Hey Bro!!  Wassup!!  Man I've gotta ...."  and I interrupted him and said, "Excuse me but I do not think I'm your Bro or Brother,  I'm not even transgender..."  and he says "Wha.., What???  Hey ain't youse (insert name here)?"  "No" said I "and I don't even know the person"  and instead of saying "I'm sorry I dialed the wrong number" being apologetic they just hang up.  How Rude!!   Ettiquete decrees that you should aplogize for mis-dialing and bid the person a good day. 

Now I do have to say I have been given a number incorrectly, when I call and its not the right person I always say "I'm sorry but the number I was dialing is (blah, blah) to reach (so and so) have I mis-dialed?"  now usually because I'm so polite the response is either "well you've dial the right number but no such person is here"  or it will be "I'm sorry but you've dialed the wrong number" either way I'll apologize for having bothered them and hang up.  And I have never had a rude response either.   I think because I'm so polite it startles them......

Or maybe they think that a phone call from the past has traverse time and space only to interrupt their lives and leave a puzzelment....I like that idea...sort of shake them up out of their complacentcy.  Considered that's there's been a movie or two about that...Hmmmmm, such fun when you think about it.

And BART...it seems that the BART Directors are saying that there was an error in the already signed contract giving 6 weeks family leave and the Directors are saying that the costs for that will be too high, hmmm why wasn't that caught when they signed off on it, espeically considering that it was signed too by the original negotiator that no one liked...was that revenge on his part??

Now there is really no talk of strike but the possiblity of it is there, but the public is like "I'm so over this, I'm not on the Union's side."   I have to agree, it would be very harmful to strike right at the Holiday Season,  I can just see the public now, storming the BART stations with pitch fokes and torches and the BART offices as well.    O.K. who is going to pour down the boiling oil on the peasant rabble?

And for a while we had a wonderful feel good moment with Bat Kid, and another with a little two year old napping with his 9 week old puppy buddy, kids and puppies and kittens, even I can't resist that.

But the Typhoon in the Phillipines and Tornado's in the Mid-West, a harsh dose of reality to be reminded that life and material things are fragile.

And I just got a phone call from Doyle, I could hear him over the static, he's buying Chinese tonight with lots of Soup, no cooking for Sis and I,  he asked me to check to see if Brian and Louise want to join us,  I think tonight deserves to be with good people.  Don't you?

Later Darklings



I just hate waiting for them to fix the phone lines.



Of A Halloween Chant~~~~

Well Darklings,

Halloween is upon us, I only have time for a short post.

Cousin Louise is helping me in the kitchen, my new stove is not ready yet so the small one is doing yoeman's work.

Sis and Doyle will be helping out this afternoon to make sure everything is in place.  Food  and drink to be served buffet style, the dinning room table streched out to its limit.

And for just a brief moment when I woke up this morning I remembered a Halloween chant that I and my siblings use to say when we went around trick or treating which I'll share with you.


Trick or treat,
Here we meet,
Give us something sweet to eat.
Be it candy be it cake,
Give us something sweet to take.

Happy Halloween Darklings


You just never know who is going to show up.



Of Memorial Day Rememberances~~~~~

Dear Darklings,

In memory of those who walked the walk, stood between us and losing our freedoms, who gave unselfishly of their strength, courage and lives  I "Thank You" and Honor You.

To those family members and friends who are departed, you maybe physically gone, but I know you are spiritually here, loving us and we will always love and remember you.  You may not have gone to war but you served by being who you are with Love, Compassion and Courage.

Later Darklings

Of further Updates on the Boston Tragedy and memories of another event~~~

Dear Darklings,

My mind is just reeling of what has happened and information flying in so fast and furious.

So far 3 are dead, over 170 are injured some critically.  The reports of two unexploded bombs were incorrect and so far the fire at JFK Library just co-incidence.

Many runners are making plans to do a sort of "Run to show we are not intimidated" Marathon, people refusing to allow something like this change their lives except to be more vigilant.  Which is the only true course of action.

I am reading and hearing conflicting reports that a suspect has either been arrested or has been identified, I am not sure which, perhaps the news casters on the east coast have more information.

Doyle make an interesting remark to me when he came home late last night, he said that he hopes they check the roofs and any areas were the windows were exploded inward as that could contain important pieces of evidence and according to the noon time (PDT) broadcast they had done just that and found something.

Quiet heroes are emerging from this holocaust, people just doing what they felt was only right to do and those who are trained to do any emergency work.

I feel it will take me a few more days to get my mind back on real life again, and I can understand this desire to want more information to be updated constantly.

When Kennedy was shot in 1963 Mother was glued to the television set, Dad had to get a long antenna wire extension so that she could roll the t.v. set from the kitchen into the living room so she could do her work and still hear the news.  She saw when Jack Ruby shot the alleged killer and it happened live, I remember when I came home after picking up my younger sister and brother at school,  she was just sitting on the couch with her mouth open, almost unable to speak, all she could say was "someone shot him!  some man in the crowd shot him!"   I had to call Grandma and Uncle Mannie drove her to our house, she had to get Mother in gear just to make dinner, so sis and I dashed to the market across the street to get ground round to make meat loaf, it was the easiest thing to make for 7 people.  

For some reason that meat loaf tasted real good, I think because Mom and Grandma in a daze threw everything into it, long green onions, diced tomatoes,  we had some left over baked potatoes so we had mashed potatoes with bits of green onions in it and fresh string beans,  Grandma said to buy a pound of string beans and sis and I were kept occupied trimming, washing and cutting the beans.  Uncle Mannie took our brother outside to play catch until Dad got home.

Grandma turned off the T.V. and said "That is enough news for now."  That was a very sad November.

And even now I simply will not turn on the television until it is time for the regular news,  I have to get my mind back together.

And now a little bit of good news,  in the beginning of May my Lawyer and the defendant's lawyer and us will meet at my lawyers office to discuss a settlement, but it will be hefty, there will be no bargaining, it's either what I want or we go to court, which he doesn't want.

I have seen my doctor and he said I can go to my office next week to talk to my co-workers to see what is happening, my back spasms seemed to have ceased, but we'll know better when I'm back to work, the bruising is now just reddish and the cut on my cheek will only need the slightest of cosmetic surgery and even the discoloration will fade, I've not used any make up because I didn't want it to be in any way infected.

But considering how bruised I was even applying makeup was painful.   I'm walking more have even taken Belladonna on her walks with either Ella or Louise with me.  Doing the heat therapy seemed to have helped me heal much faster.  And I have to admit I've gotten very spoiled being waited upon, but that will stop eventually. 


I could not resist this, for several weeks I felt like that


I still get a little weakness in my legs and on occasion a little dizzy, but the Doctor has ruled out head trauma but if the occasional dizziness persists he will look into that further.

But I most likely will not go back to work until the end of May.   Why so long?  Doctor wants to be completely sure I can handle the work, I feel like that character "Rocky" getting ready for a prize fight, only its getting strong enough to work.

And now I must go, Louise says its time for Belladonna's and mine afternoon walk.  Where is that theme from "Rocky"?

Later Darklings

Of Religion and same names~~~~

Hello My Darklings,
WARNING---this is a very, very long post. Please take your time to read it.

I’ve had several questions asked of me, and one of them is about clarification, the other about religion.

I’ve mentioned Monica, a young artist friend of mine and Monica in relation to Coralline. Indeed they are two separate people, the second Monica is Coralline’s Mother, the first is a friend.

As a matter of fact I have co-workers, acquaintances, friends and family members with the same first name, one name in particular is most frequent and that is “David”. To distinguish each one I’ve had to use either a last name, especially among co-workers (I have 3 David’s’ where I work) and among friends and family for a total of 8 David’s’. Can you imagine the confusion that arises with that many David’s? For a period of time it was the name Michael, I knew 10 of them, but that has since over the years settled down to just 6.

Mary was another name; I knew 3 Mary’s so I’d use a last initial or their middle name if I happen to know it.

Even in my address book (hard copy and computer copy) I’ve had to put in where I know them or what type of relationship; with cousins I know some 2nd and 3rd cousins that I’m friendly with again with the same first name or in some cases same first and last name, so I’d have to throw in their middle name. And there is one case where I have a Junior and a Senior, so I have to use the first name followed by Jr or Sr.

It is a miracle my eyes don’t cross when I think about this. And I am also amazed at how quickly my brain processes this information.

The other question that has been put to me, and very respectfully I might add, is my religious beliefs or affiliation.



In very simple terms I am Roman Catholic. But I received my Catechism training as a Pre-Vatican Two Catholic, very old style, Latin Mass traditional training. I even have my little book that has the blue and gold stars showing how well I progressed. “Who Made Me? --- God Made Me.”



Now a days there is a schism within the Catholic Church, there are those who are Pro-Vatican Two and there are those that have broken away from that and are Traditional Catholics, Pre-Vatican Two.



Myself I am a mixture, I prefer the old way of conducting Mass in Latin with the Priest with his back to the congregation focusing on the rites of the mass. Even Joseph Campbell said that when the church changed the focus of conducting the ritual it changed the energy of the mass instead of it being focused and upward it became scattered, confused and defused. And I agree whole heartedly with that.



The altar that contains the sacred relics and the tabernacle holding the host is behind the priest and has ceased to be the focus of energy for the people worshiping. The chanting of the mass in Latin has a rhythm that carries the energy forward and upward and could be followed in one’s prayer book.



However, I do believe that having gays in the church and women priests as well as married priests especially those who have left the Anglican or Episcopal Church and converted to Catholicism would be a great step forward. And I deplore how the church attempted its cover up of those pedophile priests. I do believe in contraception for women as well as a woman’s right to choose especially if her life is in danger, the only people that should be involved is the woman, and her medical physician, no one, not an individual person, a religious organization, a political organization or a government should be involved.



I also feel that the Modern Catholic Church has gotten a little too free-wheeling in some areas, ritual is very helpful in dealing with things in life, there is something solid feeling about ritual, and once it gets too free-wheeling it seems to knock out the underpinnings in a person. That is something I have noticed, especially among young people, the foundation of one’s soul gets shredded without ritual and foundation.



I do feel that the individual’s right to cremation or to in anyway save on funeral costs I think is good. But I do prefer the old-fashion rosary, even at the memorial service, but some people I know are not comfortable with that and many people have friends and co-workers who are of different religious beliefs and so will modify the service, which is fine.



Although I do feel that the addition of the “Mysteries of Light” to the Rosary is an excellent addition.



When I pass on, it will be an old-fashion funeral service, flowers optional, donations to a worthy charity highly preferred. I do have moneys set aside for that and my burial plot and head stone are all picked out. As a matter of fact my head stone is black granite and although expensive it will have a picture of me when I was looking my best, I have that picked out as well. I plan to have it say besides my name and date of birth and death, the statement “I will return!” meaning I plan to re-incarnate.



When I was entered as a young child into the rites of the Catholic Church it was baptism, penance, communion, confirmation, then the choice of marriage or holy orders, and extreme unction or last rites now called rites of the sick. Now they have switched the order between communion and confirmation which I find a bit disconcerting.



Baptism at birth is fine or if one decides to convert, penance is usually done with “first holy confession” at age 7 because at that age it was thought that most children will understand right from wrong, what is and what isn’t a sin so they can follow the right path, but then also at that age you were invited to join “the Lords’ Table” that is communion and to take part in the mass because at 7 to 8 you are beginning to understand what is needed from you and also to continue your religious education and training in the Church to fully understand one’s commitment to it, then by age 13 to 14 to take confirmation which as I was taught, meant you recommitted yourself to the church to become a “solider for Christ” to do by good acts and good deeds show others the way to the right path of love, compassion, healing and to God’s light.



I remember the priest saying to us “Once you take that commitment of Confirmation there is no going back, your soul is pledged to do good in thought, word and deed and to show others by your actions the way to God’s love and light.”



Pretty heady, frightening and yet beautiful when you think about it.



Now they call penance or confession as the rite of reconciliation, well I can see that in a way but more for after you have been “accepted to the Lords’ table”, but I remember how important it was for me to do my first confession so that I’d be starting my religious training and acceptance to the Lord’s table with a clean slate.



But I do have to say in the past number of years, my slate has gotten pretty dirty from time to time. I mean how do you tell a priest that you had intimate relations for the first time outside of marriage, I mean I was not married. I have to laugh, I remember the priest asking if pre-cautions were taken to not transmit any disease, not pregnancy but disease. I guess that prevented him from condemning me as a wanton woman, well I knew my health education and I knew what precautions to take, and I said “yes” and he said “Good, but remember my child, your body is a temple to God and you must not abuse or defile that temple” he told me what my penance was and added an interesting rider which was to volunteer for a month at a home for unwed mother’s.



I did, yes, my Darklings I did, why? Because I was curious and I also felt that I would be cheating if I didn’t. This home was run by some nuns, and they did everything to help these young girls some as young at 14, and to work out some reconciliation with their parents or to see about adopting their baby to a childless family. They also did counseling especially if the young mothers were giving the child up for adoption and also to find the root of why they did pre-marital sex and to give them guide lines to be morally stronger. I volunteered for 6 months. Why for so long? Well I was taking psychology classes as well in college, so it was a plausible excuse to my parents.



Who was my first love? Not a callow boy, nor a much older man, no not that, and heavens! NOT a Teacher, I was aware of those schoolish traps. No, he came into my life and even now I think of him with fondness. And now?? Well I never did marry, came close, but never did marry and now I’m “living in sin” with Doyle but at our ages and in these times who cares as long as we have a personal commitment to each other.



And Yes, My Darklings how do I, an Elder/Elderly Goth who is into the “dark side” show the way to the light? For me by piercing the darkness, by looking into it and lighting that one candle to understand the evil within it and to dispel it is how I lead to the light, but at night, in those areas where I can look up into the night sky and see the milky way, into the star lit heavens do I understand the greatness of this creation, and although I feel very small, like one of those tiny pin-pricks of light, I do shine in my own way and therefore am seen by the Creator.



The rituals of the rosary, the stations of the cross, the Easter Sunrise service, even the Easter Midnight Service with the lighting of the Paschal Candle, the burning of the old palms for next years Ash Wednesday, the Christmas Midnight mass, the blessing of the throat on St. Blaise Day, Ash Wednesday service, Palm Sunday, Lent, fasting, confession (when we need it), Novena’s, blessings at meal times and other things help give construction to one’s day, are really very important, the trick though is to do it without making a show of it.



But I am also a Gnostic as well, I’ve found that its best to look into the good parts of the Catholic Faith and take that to heart, that which is dogmatic or seems to have been tainted by Man’s greed one can leave behind, I’ve also looked at Buddhism, had some of my early old testament teachings from an elderly Jewish Rabbi who was more than happy to do comparisons without saying which was better, between the Jewish view of the old testament and the Catholic or Christian look at the same book. I’ve been to Spiritualist Churches as well, my Grandmother knew a man who was a “Satanist” and under her watchful eye he talked to me about his being one, and in my college years talked to a young man of the Islamic faith as well as Native American Shamans.



When I was a child my Mother and Grandmother loved to watch Bishop Fulton J. Sheen talk on his television program “Life is Worth Living”, his talks made so much sense and for its day were very balanced. I remember especially one talk on how it was important to have Mind, Body and Soul in harmony. Even today when I go to a book sale or 2nd hand book store I look for his works to add to my library.



My Grandmother and my parents were Catholic but they were also Gnostic as well, I think because of that it has given me a more balance out look on life. Not only on my personal library shelves do I have a Rehims-Douay Catholic Bible, but also a King James, a number of books by Bishop Sheen, and other Christian and Catholic writers, I also have works on Jewish studies, a copy of the Koran as well a commentaries on it, works on Wicca and witchcraft, Joseph Campbell’s books, the Kabbalah, as well as Nitchez (I don’t think I spelled his name right) Freud, the paranormal and others including the ramblings of Anton LaVey. It is a very eclectic and wide spread.



But as I got older even with my Catholic/Gnostic studies I found that ritual has helped give foundation and structure to my life, without impinging upon it or on anyone else’s.



For Example:

At work at lunch, I’ll lay out my meal, and then take a few seconds to silently offer grace, but to someone watching me, it looks like I’ve taken a few seconds to relax before I start eating which is really a good habit to get into.



When I ride the bus and Bart to work, I have a small bracelet on my wrist, it has a religious medal on it and 14 beads, 10 for the Hail Mary, 1 Our Father, and 3 for Faith, Hope and Charity, by simply crossing my hands and fingering the bracelet I do a decade of the rosary. At work they know that at times I need a little time to myself, so if they see me sitting at my desk but my head is down and I’m not doing anything they leave me alone, I tell them I need some mental alone time to collect my thoughts, they respect that.

I do it at commute time going to work, at noon, at about 3 p.m., and commuting when I go home, and after dinner, I’ll sit down and do a full rosary silently to not disturb Doyle while he reads his magazine, we’ve found that if we watch the news around 9 p.m. (there are stations that do that) and record whatever program is on at that time that we’d like to watch later it balances our day much better.



At home next to the front door, my Great Aunt had hung a small fount to hold holy water, I bless myself when I leave for the day and when I return, to protect and release what that the day may have thrown at me. It feels refreshing.



Does my sister Marie do that? We’ll I know she blesses herself when she leaves and comes home and she does the rosary privately, anything else I do not question.



I have always felt that religion is something that is private between one’s self and God and should not be a public demonstration; there is a parable in the New Testament that speaks of that.



My brother and his wife, they are Catholic, how well do they work at their Catholicism I don’t know but I’m sure they go to church several times a year, if there is no game the boys need to go to that morning, Coralline has asked me questions but I always ask her Mother how far should I go into this, not wishing to tread on toes.



Doyle? He believes in his own way, I’ve seen him bless himself, but I don’t push anything further.



How often do I go to Church? Well as a child and all through my College years I went every Sunday, then I had these work hours that required me to work nights, when the Church started offering Saturday vigil Mass I considered that a blessing, which was a compromise between myself and my parents although I’d make efforts to join them for Mass on Sundays as often as possible, my Mother would go with me to Saturday vigil mass and then she’d go again on Sunday with Dad and my siblings. Not until after my parents passed away did I reduce my attendance. The church that I went with my parents towards the end of their lives had changed too much, so much so that I felt like a stranger in it.



When I was a child and through High School, I would go with my parents, Grandmother and my Uncle Manuel to St. Elizabeth’s, it was a wonderful Church in the Grand old-fashion Catholic Style. It had these wonderful life-size statutes of the saints in one room, it turned out that this room was where the choir would gather before High Mass, and then they’d take these stairs that led to the choir loft where the great organ was housed. There was St. Anthony, St. Theresa, St. Elizabeth, St. Clare, The Holy Mother as a Pieta holding her crucified son in her arms, but above that statue was a stain glass window that showed the risen Christ, and how the layout of the church was that window would capture the sun’s arc all day so it would always be lit.



In the main church, on the left was the statue of Mary and on the right of St. Joseph, but there was also ¾’s size depiction of the crucifixion, I do not remember if it was only brought out on Good Friday or if it was semi-permanent during Lent, but I do remember it always being there. And the pulpit where the sermon was given there was this curved shell with the painting of the Holy Spirit in the image of a Dove mounted above, to a child and young person it was very moving and impressionable and very Gothic.



But after my Grandmother and then my Uncle died, after I had graduated from college and started working, we stopped going there, my Dad said the neighborhood was changing and not for the better he felt, so we started going to St. Jarlath’s and other churches but it was not the same. In my mind I can still see St. Elizabeth’s soaring interior. It was more Gothic than St. Jarlath’s. We eventually settled on a Church in Alameda, although a little bit of a distance, our parents felt a lot better about it and its location.



One thing that I discovered about young people and it was Coralline who enlightened me about this, is that the young people are really not given the mystical reasons for why some things are done, and the mystical/spiritual reasoning behind it. It’s just simply done and “we’ve always done it this way” but when I explain to Coralline the “history” behind these various things and the spiritual implications, she always exclaims “Why don’t they (meaning her teachers) explain that to us?! When you tell it, it makes sense!”

And it also re-affirms her religious convictions. And that amazes me, her sitting at my feet while I explain things to her.



Then one day I was going through my collection of Memento Mori cards and came across two of them one of Good St. Anne teaching Mary and the other of Jesus and the children and my mind flashed back to the conversations Coralline and I have and I found myself smiling.



Maybe that is why so many young people leave the church, we don’t go into the mysticism and spiritualism behind it, maybe we feel they are too young to understand it, but if Coralline who is now 11 years old can understand it, so can others. I feel that Bible study should also include the spiritual reasons why we do certain rituals; why does this have a certain meaning, and I do believe it would not be lost on young people perhaps make them more committed to their faith.



I feel that is what the church is now losing out on and may be they should bring back the old-fashioned Mass in its full glory, I think that Bible studies should be expanded to include what I suggested above especially if they are not doing it now, I think that everyone should watch Joseph Campbell’s “Power of Myth” even if Campbell was prejudice on some areas, his understanding of the important of Myth and Meaning in the shaping of one’s spiritual life is very important. I think all of that would make such a spiritual impression upon young people.



I do believe that if one can take the time to explain things to a young person they will not fall away from the faith they grew up in but learn from it and grow stronger but one needs to take the time to do that. I believe that many young people become disenchanted with the faith of their childhood and convert most frightenly to either a suicidal cult or Islam, because I learned from an experience I had that if you convert to Islam you cannot be Gnostic and I feel that cuts you off from all life’s experiences.



It is the young minds that need to be formed and educated into a good moral life without dogmatism. That was the problem I had with a young man during my college years, who was of the Islamic Faith, he claimed to have fallen in love with me but I informed him I was not in love with him but I did enjoy our discussions, but then after a few months, our discussions turned to him trying to convert me to show me that Allah was powerful and I said God has many names and is worshiped in many ways, the only laws we need to follow is to Love thy neighbor as one would love thyself, which means have respect for people’s differences without forcing things down their throats. That seemed to irritate him so I began watching his personality and behavior.



He then came back as how Islam was a peaceful religion, and I said not as long as people in those countries still practice tribal beliefs, I told him further Catholism and other religions are peaceful religions as long as nothing is forced upon one another, in many ways it has changed over the centuries, even if it is changing slowly it must change to grow with the understanding that society changes, if a religion doesn’t do that and is dogmatic then it is not faith but fear the keeps people on their knees. And I’ve seen too many cults do that.



I had gone to an interfaith worship service a few days before and had invited him to come with me but he strongly refused saying it would taint him. I brought that up to him later asking him how could something Interfaith taint him and he said I was mistaken, that is when I mentally confirmed the two-facedness of this situation and of him, as my parents had no problem with the interfaith service and even asked me about it.



I stopped meeting him for discussions, until one day he confronted me Demanding why I refused to meet him, I replied because he was trying to force conversion down my throat and I deeply resented that.



He claimed he was not doing that and I said he was by trying to trick me with flattery and now demands, he rebutted this but I insisted that was his method pointing out certain arguments and discussions that we had recently, I told him God awakens one’s mind and soul with an epiphany not with a verbal whip.



He became so angry he started calling me “Satan’s Whore” and I started to laugh and laugh loud. He demanded to know why was I laughing and I said “You and your beliefs are very weak if you have to resort to name calling. I laugh because I am strong and I will not surrender my will to someone who thinks they can flatter me or frighten me---Now Leave Me and Never SPEAK to me again!!!” I was glad that I took precautions and had maneuvered ourselves into a public area with people around us to hear this argument. He never approached me again.



Get thee behind me Satan----He transferred from the college we were attending to another, and soon afterwards I encountered a young man who thought he was a Satanist, if you look back on my earlier posts you will find that encounter and the results.



After that as I became older and wiser, I felt that my faith as I have learned it led me to many different religious encounters, including wicca and witchcraft, Ifa, Santeria and Voodoo as well as ghost hunting, all of that was interesting experiences. And I learned the Dark side through those experiences as well.



Now I’m over 60 and in a way I’ve come home, oh not with so much of the organized religion but the faith in God, Jesus, Holy Mother Mary, St. Joseph, Good St. Anne, they remain touchstones and foundations and teachers for me. I still go to church at least once a month although with the back injuries it’s been hard.



Easter was the first time since the accident, and I found something very joyous, renewing and life affirming in the Mass. I also encountered a number of people I had not seen in a long time and it was wonderful to re-connect.



I encourage all people young and old to go to the Midnight Masses, Sunrise Masses especially for those major holidays, even do the Stations of the Cross, study the meanings behind the Mysteries of the Rosary, in many ways they are both Gothic and Goth, dealing with Life and Death and Resurrection. And if you can find a wonderfully old Gothic style Church it can give a greater appeal to it



But my Darklings, I find God in everything, if it’s raining I watch the rain and what it does, the wind, the clouds, I look up at the sky at night and admire the moon and stars, I take pleasure in hearing the birds, and watching the insects like the few bees and butterflies, even the sassiness of the squirrels, Belladonna’s forays on our walks, watching the Koi swimming in the pond with their graceful beauty, watching children play and laugh, looking at the majesty of the trees, and the beauty of the flowers, the ocean shore. They become my everyday church and communion with God each and every day and I am at peace and free.


I’ll continue this later, especially about funeral rituals and memento mori and my encounters with Anton LeVey and Jim Jones. Yes Darklings I met them, ooooh the 1970’s was an interesting time.

Later Darklings

Of Wind Storms and Damage~~~~

Hello My Darklings,

We have been such a terrible wind storm for the last few days, blowing down trees and blowing sand across the "Great Highway" that it closed it (this is the roadway that runs along the beach in San Francisco).

Poor Ella my morning caregiver called early, a large tree fell and did damage to the hood of her car and a branch smashed the driver's window, she couldn't come in today, but I asked her if she was O.K. and her house and was her car drive able.  She said she was fine but it will be several days before the city can completely remove her tree and she has to have the window replaced.   I told her to take what time is needed, since I'm improving I'll be fine.

And indeed I am getting more independent, the Doctor thinks another month and I should be able to get around, and I know he's right.  Even Louise my afternoon caregiver says I'm improving a lot that she knows she won't be needed for much longer.  Which I find sad as I've grown fond of her and Ella, I will miss their company.  But by the end of May I'll be back to pretty much my old routine, with some adjustments.

But this wind storm is terrible, and we are still having it today although not as bad.   Some damage was done here at the house, we had not realized that the driveway can be a wind tunnel, some of the tree roses were uprooted by the wind, my gardener will do what he can to save them,  I love their wine dark colors.  When Doyle saw the roses had been knocked over he got some plastic buckets and put the roses into the buckets with water and vitamin B compound to prevent shock until my gardener can come and take care of it.

And an old tree in the farthest back part of the lot also fell over, we knew it was dying and we had plans to remove it, but the wind took care of that and it just fell over.  At least nothing else was damaged, just a big mess.  At least we can wait a bit on that, we'll just have it cut up, and then let the wood dry and we can burn it in the winter in the fireplace.   One way to get free firewood.

We also heard on the news last night that a fire started down in Ventura and the winds are pushing it into a difficult landscape to suppress the fire, two homes lost so far and more are in danger,  I have friends that live down in Ventura I tried calling them this morning but no answer, I hope they are safe.

Poor Belladonna with all the wind, she just snuggles closer to me and shivers, I don't blame her, it can be frightening.

Last night my sister and I were talking about family and she thinks I should post about what we lived through that helped shaped our Gothic outlook on life.  I will but I think I'll do it using the word program and then post here, it will give me time to be sure that my thoughts are focused correctly on what I want to say.

Sometimes talking about things that have happened in one's family can help give perspective as to the shaping in one's life.  One can see the right and wrong turns but one can never see the end.

Must go my Therapist is here.

Later Darklings

Of Gardens and Cars and Orchids~~~~~

Hello My Darklings,

The car has turned out to be just wonderful!

I can easily get in and out and there is plenty of room in the back for Coralline and Miranda should we need to go somewhere.  The trunk space is just right as well.

I found myself getting a bit tired but fortunately Doyle brought the wheelchair for just in case.

Today we'll go back and finalize the deal, but we are traveling in  Louise's car so she can drive me home and Doyle can drive the new car. 

Doyle, and rightly so, is concerned that I am not up to par to drive yet as I still have to take medication.  

My bruises are fading away finally but with some it will take longer,  I can go up and down the stairs at least once a day now, but if I want to take a nap I'll still be using the spare room on the ground floor.  I'll be seeing the Doctor again tomorrow, he is concerned about my weakness although it could be a complication from having that horrible virus.   But the therapist insists that I do walking at least around the house and garden to keep the muscles in tone and to slowly build up strength.

The weather here has turned cloudy and they are predicting rain for the Easter weekend, personally I hope it holds off, but Doyle says we will take our drive.

I'm hoping the Doctor will allow me to at least go to my work one day next week just so I can see how things are progressing,  I still will not be able to go back to work full time for a while, but some of my staff are concerned with a few things.

Several of my friends came by yesterday late afternoon with orchids for the hot house, the cybideiums as they are more hardy than the Catalaya's.  And although the Hot house is not completely ready they will do well in there as it currently stands.   They placed them around the indoor pond giving it a strange Gothic exotic look to it, as a matter of fact it has given me idea's for that area.  And they chose cybideiums that have a deep purple colors to them,one is almost a deep brown.  

My regular gardener who trims the trees, has been removing the invasive weeds and mows the lawn was just in awe of their exotic beauty, we talked about their care and he is very familiar with them as he has cared for the same type with his other customers, but he asked if it would be alright for his wife to assist as this was going to be more work and I said it would be fine.

My accountant and I have been going over the finances for the trust for the house and grounds as well as my income, but I insisted that my sister sit in as sometimes my head gets a little fuzzy, but the bottom line is that the income for the care of the house and grounds is more than enough to cover everything.  Which relieves my mind.   It is my intention to bring the house and grounds back up to it's glory but with a few interesting twists to it.

I know that if anything happens to me it will go to my sister who feels the same way as I do about it.

Strangely last night Marie and I started reminesing about family and events, and with so many years to look back on things and considering how our own life experiences have molded our outlooks, we were able to view a number of things without the extreme pain that we use to feel.   And also how they formed us.

I'll talke about this more later, my Darklings.  Right now Ella has my lunch prepared and the Therapist will be coming early so we can take care of the car deal later.

Later.

Christmas Season is upon us~~~"Stir up we beeche Thee..."

Well Darklings the Christmas Season is upon us.




Here is where I as an Elder/Elderly Goth must stand her ground.



I do recognize this time of year as a Holiday Season where several ceremonies of light occur, if one is Pagan then it is Yule, the time of the year when darkness is at its greatest, where all things dark and despairing fly and reek havoc upon body and soul, and then bonfires must be lit to dispel the darkness and bring back the light.



If one is Jewish then this is the season of lights when the great temple was defiled but regained by the Hebrew people who cleansed the temple but found that they only had enough holy oil for the lamp for one night, but used it anyway and much to their surprised the lamp burned for 8 nights instead of one, a sign of a Great and Holy presence.



If one is Christian then this is the time of year when all is dark and a displaced family must try and find shelter for the woman is about to give birth and all they could find was a stable because there was no room in the inn (there’s a certain amount of symbolism here my Darklings), but in that lowly stable a great light came into the world to give hope. That old Christmas Carol “Silent Night” in the last verse says it very purely “…Love’s Pure Light…”



There are other religious beliefs that also either around this time of year or near to it, celebrate a season of lights for the same reason.



But Doyle takes it one step further and I won’t argue with him on this because in many ways I felt the same----Doyle says “for all you atheists—you can stay in the dark”.



For as an Elder/Elderly Goth that is part of the beauty of Darkness, the light that shines within, as the old saying goes “it is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness”, as an Elder/Elderly Goth we look into the darkness with eyes to see in the dark, blazing to find the beauty and the truth, and yes, even if we cloak it with fantasy, we never leave the reality of life.



We know that Santa Claus is a legend, but we will not dispel a small child’s belief in that ‘spirit’ of unselfish giving, we are not sure about when Jesus was born but we will not dispel the simplicity and sense of hope in the Christmas Story.



Just recently a New York City police officer saw a homeless man who had no shoes, the homeless man may be mentally incapacitated but the police officer saw he had blisters on his feet, in stead of rousting him to move on, he went and with his own money bought all weather boots, and thermal socks, when he went into the store to buy the boots and told the sales staff what he was going to do, they gave him the employees discount, and he went back to the man put the socks and boots on the man’s feet, did he expect anything?



No, he did what he felt was right, he could not pass this man by, and like the good Samaritan, did it because it was right, he saw the darkness and put beauty into it.

His simple act of kindness was captured by a tourist and it went viral, this officer is an example of what anyone working and living in a dark Gothic environment can do. This is the true spirit of the Christmas Season and for all year round. The officer says he keeps that receipt for those boots with him as a reminder, “what good you can do, do it now, for you may not have that same chance again”.



And that is also what being an Elder/Elderly Goth is all about during this time of year, seeing into the darkness a shining a light.



When I and my sister were little there was an elderly lady by the name of Renee, Mrs. Renee, and she told marvelous stories, legends, folk tales, fairy tales and ghost stories of all kinds and she’d give various characters voices, and acted it out.



When Mother and Dad wanted a little alone time or had to go somewhere Mrs. Renee would baby sit us girls, while Grandma would take care of our brother because he was just a baby. Especially at Christmas time it would be wonderful to be at Mrs. Renee’s home, which we called the Mansion, her house seems to be always filled with a warm gold color at winter time I really don’t know how she did it, and it always smelled of spices like nutmeg, cinnamon, vanilla, and other wonderful exotic scents.



She would baby sit for various families and we loved going to her house, but the stories, oh the stories. She would have a fire going in the fire place, and light candles in glass containers, some in gold and some in ruby, the electric light would be turned off and she’d tell us these wonderful stories.



But wintertime she’d tell us of Hern the Hunter and the wild hunt and how the unjust would be punished if found at midnight on Christmas Eve if they were found by Hern, although later I’ve found other variations of the legend.



But she’d also would tell us the Christmas Story starting with the words “Once upon a time in David’s Royal City….”



I’ve found that if the rains come with wild winds during the Christmas season I’d be reminded of Hern and on Christmas Eve I’d hear Mrs. Renee’s voice saying softly “Once upon a time in David’s Royal City…”



And once again I am a child of 8 or 9 enjoying the fantasy and magic of Christmas with it’s legends and ghosts, and being Catholic doing the ritual of the Advent wreath, I have for Coralline an Advent Calendar, her parents are Catholic (sort of) they do go to church unless there is a game their boys have to be at, but my Sister and I want Coralline to experience the fun, joy and mystical ritual wonder of the season. From “Stir Up Sunday” which is the Sunday of the Advent season to Epiphany or Three Kings Day.



I and my sister always remember how Mother would have Dad bring down the Christmas decorations and go through everything to plan on the Christmas dinner.



Among the Christmas decorations my sister found the frame for the Advent wreath, and managed to buy the candles to go with it, so with some decorations from a Hobby shop she re-decorated it and we will light it saying “Stir Up, oh Lord, Thy Might, we beg thee and come, that by Thy protection we be rescued from the threatening dangers and saved by Thy deliverance.”



There is something about the ritual of the Advent wreath that stirs within an Elder/Elderly Goth’s soul, to give strength for the year of the trials to come and to continue to live the life we want to live.



Now back to current reality~~~~



Doyle surprised Coralline and I Friday afternoon by calling to say he would pick us up at my work, no taking public transportation in this rain he says. And where does he take us?



To a Christmas Tree Lot---and not just any Christmas Tree Lot----one that is run by one of the nearby churches as a fund raiser for their child care programs for single mother’s who have to work. And it was a good thing it was still day light in spite of the rain, Doyle insisted we buy two real trees, one for the Family Parlor and one for the Formal Parlor, I wasn’t going to argue.



But there was something, the smell of the trees, the careful assessment of which one’s would fit the spots in the home, determining the size of their trunk ends to fit into the water holders, then the purchase and bundling and tying down on the top of the van (Doyle came prepared).



But we could not leave just yet.



Coralline spotted a small, tiny Christmas tree, a very small, tiny Christmas tree.



She asked me what happens to cut trees after Christmas, I told her that we plan on having the Boy Scout’s do a pick up and then the trees are made into mulch to help other plants grow. That way the trees are never wasted, but are re-cycled.



She wanted the tiny Christmas Tree. She thought it would look nice in the entrance hall when people came into the house. I thought about how it would be mounted and where it would be placed and remembered an old small battered table in the basement which could be covered with a nice cloth and also remembered these things called “frogs” to hold woody type flowers and plants in an arrangement so it could be kept watered.



We bought the tiny tree.



So Friday evening was spent setting up the trees, with Doyle outside cutting the bottoms so the trees could get fresh water, and us vacuuming and sweeping the needles and moving things around.



Saturday we went to buy new lights for the trees and strung them up, later we went to the Tree Lighting ceremony at a local community, enjoying the entertainment and listening to the words officials had to say, watching the skaters on the portable ice rink, and getting a bit to eat at one of the local eateries, and just enjoying ourselves in general.



Today is being spent putting up the decorations, and staying warm, Belladonna has decided to camp on one of the overstuffed chairs and stay out of the way.



It’s already wonderful seeing all the old-fashioned decorations going up, I was glad that I managed to get more decorations, Coralline and my sister and I are having fun and I’m glad I managed to get the bulk of this typed the night before and save to a flash drive to post this morning.



Seeing the red, greens and gold’s shimmering in the lights brings a smile to my face and tons of memories of Family Christmases gone by, Coralline is building up her own special memories. She hugged my sister, Doyle and I last night for making this so special.



Later Darklings