Of viewing fashion darkly~~~~

Hello My Darklings,

Just a short post, I still have bills to pay and a check book to balance I'm so glad that Sis will be making dinner tonight.

A friend of mine informed me of a facebook page called Dark Style.  I think it can be found at www.facebook.com/thedarkstyle  I hope I got that URL right. 

Well I went to it and I fell in love with it, I may not agree on all the styles but it was enough to perk up my Goth side.

And well now I better go, but I'll leave you with this wonderful photo from it.

Later Darklings

The family that Goths together stays together
 

Of Religion and same names~~~~

Hello My Darklings,
WARNING---this is a very, very long post. Please take your time to read it.

I’ve had several questions asked of me, and one of them is about clarification, the other about religion.

I’ve mentioned Monica, a young artist friend of mine and Monica in relation to Coralline. Indeed they are two separate people, the second Monica is Coralline’s Mother, the first is a friend.

As a matter of fact I have co-workers, acquaintances, friends and family members with the same first name, one name in particular is most frequent and that is “David”. To distinguish each one I’ve had to use either a last name, especially among co-workers (I have 3 David’s’ where I work) and among friends and family for a total of 8 David’s’. Can you imagine the confusion that arises with that many David’s? For a period of time it was the name Michael, I knew 10 of them, but that has since over the years settled down to just 6.

Mary was another name; I knew 3 Mary’s so I’d use a last initial or their middle name if I happen to know it.

Even in my address book (hard copy and computer copy) I’ve had to put in where I know them or what type of relationship; with cousins I know some 2nd and 3rd cousins that I’m friendly with again with the same first name or in some cases same first and last name, so I’d have to throw in their middle name. And there is one case where I have a Junior and a Senior, so I have to use the first name followed by Jr or Sr.

It is a miracle my eyes don’t cross when I think about this. And I am also amazed at how quickly my brain processes this information.

The other question that has been put to me, and very respectfully I might add, is my religious beliefs or affiliation.



In very simple terms I am Roman Catholic. But I received my Catechism training as a Pre-Vatican Two Catholic, very old style, Latin Mass traditional training. I even have my little book that has the blue and gold stars showing how well I progressed. “Who Made Me? --- God Made Me.”



Now a days there is a schism within the Catholic Church, there are those who are Pro-Vatican Two and there are those that have broken away from that and are Traditional Catholics, Pre-Vatican Two.



Myself I am a mixture, I prefer the old way of conducting Mass in Latin with the Priest with his back to the congregation focusing on the rites of the mass. Even Joseph Campbell said that when the church changed the focus of conducting the ritual it changed the energy of the mass instead of it being focused and upward it became scattered, confused and defused. And I agree whole heartedly with that.



The altar that contains the sacred relics and the tabernacle holding the host is behind the priest and has ceased to be the focus of energy for the people worshiping. The chanting of the mass in Latin has a rhythm that carries the energy forward and upward and could be followed in one’s prayer book.



However, I do believe that having gays in the church and women priests as well as married priests especially those who have left the Anglican or Episcopal Church and converted to Catholicism would be a great step forward. And I deplore how the church attempted its cover up of those pedophile priests. I do believe in contraception for women as well as a woman’s right to choose especially if her life is in danger, the only people that should be involved is the woman, and her medical physician, no one, not an individual person, a religious organization, a political organization or a government should be involved.



I also feel that the Modern Catholic Church has gotten a little too free-wheeling in some areas, ritual is very helpful in dealing with things in life, there is something solid feeling about ritual, and once it gets too free-wheeling it seems to knock out the underpinnings in a person. That is something I have noticed, especially among young people, the foundation of one’s soul gets shredded without ritual and foundation.



I do feel that the individual’s right to cremation or to in anyway save on funeral costs I think is good. But I do prefer the old-fashion rosary, even at the memorial service, but some people I know are not comfortable with that and many people have friends and co-workers who are of different religious beliefs and so will modify the service, which is fine.



Although I do feel that the addition of the “Mysteries of Light” to the Rosary is an excellent addition.



When I pass on, it will be an old-fashion funeral service, flowers optional, donations to a worthy charity highly preferred. I do have moneys set aside for that and my burial plot and head stone are all picked out. As a matter of fact my head stone is black granite and although expensive it will have a picture of me when I was looking my best, I have that picked out as well. I plan to have it say besides my name and date of birth and death, the statement “I will return!” meaning I plan to re-incarnate.



When I was entered as a young child into the rites of the Catholic Church it was baptism, penance, communion, confirmation, then the choice of marriage or holy orders, and extreme unction or last rites now called rites of the sick. Now they have switched the order between communion and confirmation which I find a bit disconcerting.



Baptism at birth is fine or if one decides to convert, penance is usually done with “first holy confession” at age 7 because at that age it was thought that most children will understand right from wrong, what is and what isn’t a sin so they can follow the right path, but then also at that age you were invited to join “the Lords’ Table” that is communion and to take part in the mass because at 7 to 8 you are beginning to understand what is needed from you and also to continue your religious education and training in the Church to fully understand one’s commitment to it, then by age 13 to 14 to take confirmation which as I was taught, meant you recommitted yourself to the church to become a “solider for Christ” to do by good acts and good deeds show others the way to the right path of love, compassion, healing and to God’s light.



I remember the priest saying to us “Once you take that commitment of Confirmation there is no going back, your soul is pledged to do good in thought, word and deed and to show others by your actions the way to God’s love and light.”



Pretty heady, frightening and yet beautiful when you think about it.



Now they call penance or confession as the rite of reconciliation, well I can see that in a way but more for after you have been “accepted to the Lords’ table”, but I remember how important it was for me to do my first confession so that I’d be starting my religious training and acceptance to the Lord’s table with a clean slate.



But I do have to say in the past number of years, my slate has gotten pretty dirty from time to time. I mean how do you tell a priest that you had intimate relations for the first time outside of marriage, I mean I was not married. I have to laugh, I remember the priest asking if pre-cautions were taken to not transmit any disease, not pregnancy but disease. I guess that prevented him from condemning me as a wanton woman, well I knew my health education and I knew what precautions to take, and I said “yes” and he said “Good, but remember my child, your body is a temple to God and you must not abuse or defile that temple” he told me what my penance was and added an interesting rider which was to volunteer for a month at a home for unwed mother’s.



I did, yes, my Darklings I did, why? Because I was curious and I also felt that I would be cheating if I didn’t. This home was run by some nuns, and they did everything to help these young girls some as young at 14, and to work out some reconciliation with their parents or to see about adopting their baby to a childless family. They also did counseling especially if the young mothers were giving the child up for adoption and also to find the root of why they did pre-marital sex and to give them guide lines to be morally stronger. I volunteered for 6 months. Why for so long? Well I was taking psychology classes as well in college, so it was a plausible excuse to my parents.



Who was my first love? Not a callow boy, nor a much older man, no not that, and heavens! NOT a Teacher, I was aware of those schoolish traps. No, he came into my life and even now I think of him with fondness. And now?? Well I never did marry, came close, but never did marry and now I’m “living in sin” with Doyle but at our ages and in these times who cares as long as we have a personal commitment to each other.



And Yes, My Darklings how do I, an Elder/Elderly Goth who is into the “dark side” show the way to the light? For me by piercing the darkness, by looking into it and lighting that one candle to understand the evil within it and to dispel it is how I lead to the light, but at night, in those areas where I can look up into the night sky and see the milky way, into the star lit heavens do I understand the greatness of this creation, and although I feel very small, like one of those tiny pin-pricks of light, I do shine in my own way and therefore am seen by the Creator.



The rituals of the rosary, the stations of the cross, the Easter Sunrise service, even the Easter Midnight Service with the lighting of the Paschal Candle, the burning of the old palms for next years Ash Wednesday, the Christmas Midnight mass, the blessing of the throat on St. Blaise Day, Ash Wednesday service, Palm Sunday, Lent, fasting, confession (when we need it), Novena’s, blessings at meal times and other things help give construction to one’s day, are really very important, the trick though is to do it without making a show of it.



But I am also a Gnostic as well, I’ve found that its best to look into the good parts of the Catholic Faith and take that to heart, that which is dogmatic or seems to have been tainted by Man’s greed one can leave behind, I’ve also looked at Buddhism, had some of my early old testament teachings from an elderly Jewish Rabbi who was more than happy to do comparisons without saying which was better, between the Jewish view of the old testament and the Catholic or Christian look at the same book. I’ve been to Spiritualist Churches as well, my Grandmother knew a man who was a “Satanist” and under her watchful eye he talked to me about his being one, and in my college years talked to a young man of the Islamic faith as well as Native American Shamans.



When I was a child my Mother and Grandmother loved to watch Bishop Fulton J. Sheen talk on his television program “Life is Worth Living”, his talks made so much sense and for its day were very balanced. I remember especially one talk on how it was important to have Mind, Body and Soul in harmony. Even today when I go to a book sale or 2nd hand book store I look for his works to add to my library.



My Grandmother and my parents were Catholic but they were also Gnostic as well, I think because of that it has given me a more balance out look on life. Not only on my personal library shelves do I have a Rehims-Douay Catholic Bible, but also a King James, a number of books by Bishop Sheen, and other Christian and Catholic writers, I also have works on Jewish studies, a copy of the Koran as well a commentaries on it, works on Wicca and witchcraft, Joseph Campbell’s books, the Kabbalah, as well as Nitchez (I don’t think I spelled his name right) Freud, the paranormal and others including the ramblings of Anton LaVey. It is a very eclectic and wide spread.



But as I got older even with my Catholic/Gnostic studies I found that ritual has helped give foundation and structure to my life, without impinging upon it or on anyone else’s.



For Example:

At work at lunch, I’ll lay out my meal, and then take a few seconds to silently offer grace, but to someone watching me, it looks like I’ve taken a few seconds to relax before I start eating which is really a good habit to get into.



When I ride the bus and Bart to work, I have a small bracelet on my wrist, it has a religious medal on it and 14 beads, 10 for the Hail Mary, 1 Our Father, and 3 for Faith, Hope and Charity, by simply crossing my hands and fingering the bracelet I do a decade of the rosary. At work they know that at times I need a little time to myself, so if they see me sitting at my desk but my head is down and I’m not doing anything they leave me alone, I tell them I need some mental alone time to collect my thoughts, they respect that.

I do it at commute time going to work, at noon, at about 3 p.m., and commuting when I go home, and after dinner, I’ll sit down and do a full rosary silently to not disturb Doyle while he reads his magazine, we’ve found that if we watch the news around 9 p.m. (there are stations that do that) and record whatever program is on at that time that we’d like to watch later it balances our day much better.



At home next to the front door, my Great Aunt had hung a small fount to hold holy water, I bless myself when I leave for the day and when I return, to protect and release what that the day may have thrown at me. It feels refreshing.



Does my sister Marie do that? We’ll I know she blesses herself when she leaves and comes home and she does the rosary privately, anything else I do not question.



I have always felt that religion is something that is private between one’s self and God and should not be a public demonstration; there is a parable in the New Testament that speaks of that.



My brother and his wife, they are Catholic, how well do they work at their Catholicism I don’t know but I’m sure they go to church several times a year, if there is no game the boys need to go to that morning, Coralline has asked me questions but I always ask her Mother how far should I go into this, not wishing to tread on toes.



Doyle? He believes in his own way, I’ve seen him bless himself, but I don’t push anything further.



How often do I go to Church? Well as a child and all through my College years I went every Sunday, then I had these work hours that required me to work nights, when the Church started offering Saturday vigil Mass I considered that a blessing, which was a compromise between myself and my parents although I’d make efforts to join them for Mass on Sundays as often as possible, my Mother would go with me to Saturday vigil mass and then she’d go again on Sunday with Dad and my siblings. Not until after my parents passed away did I reduce my attendance. The church that I went with my parents towards the end of their lives had changed too much, so much so that I felt like a stranger in it.



When I was a child and through High School, I would go with my parents, Grandmother and my Uncle Manuel to St. Elizabeth’s, it was a wonderful Church in the Grand old-fashion Catholic Style. It had these wonderful life-size statutes of the saints in one room, it turned out that this room was where the choir would gather before High Mass, and then they’d take these stairs that led to the choir loft where the great organ was housed. There was St. Anthony, St. Theresa, St. Elizabeth, St. Clare, The Holy Mother as a Pieta holding her crucified son in her arms, but above that statue was a stain glass window that showed the risen Christ, and how the layout of the church was that window would capture the sun’s arc all day so it would always be lit.



In the main church, on the left was the statue of Mary and on the right of St. Joseph, but there was also ¾’s size depiction of the crucifixion, I do not remember if it was only brought out on Good Friday or if it was semi-permanent during Lent, but I do remember it always being there. And the pulpit where the sermon was given there was this curved shell with the painting of the Holy Spirit in the image of a Dove mounted above, to a child and young person it was very moving and impressionable and very Gothic.



But after my Grandmother and then my Uncle died, after I had graduated from college and started working, we stopped going there, my Dad said the neighborhood was changing and not for the better he felt, so we started going to St. Jarlath’s and other churches but it was not the same. In my mind I can still see St. Elizabeth’s soaring interior. It was more Gothic than St. Jarlath’s. We eventually settled on a Church in Alameda, although a little bit of a distance, our parents felt a lot better about it and its location.



One thing that I discovered about young people and it was Coralline who enlightened me about this, is that the young people are really not given the mystical reasons for why some things are done, and the mystical/spiritual reasoning behind it. It’s just simply done and “we’ve always done it this way” but when I explain to Coralline the “history” behind these various things and the spiritual implications, she always exclaims “Why don’t they (meaning her teachers) explain that to us?! When you tell it, it makes sense!”

And it also re-affirms her religious convictions. And that amazes me, her sitting at my feet while I explain things to her.



Then one day I was going through my collection of Memento Mori cards and came across two of them one of Good St. Anne teaching Mary and the other of Jesus and the children and my mind flashed back to the conversations Coralline and I have and I found myself smiling.



Maybe that is why so many young people leave the church, we don’t go into the mysticism and spiritualism behind it, maybe we feel they are too young to understand it, but if Coralline who is now 11 years old can understand it, so can others. I feel that Bible study should also include the spiritual reasons why we do certain rituals; why does this have a certain meaning, and I do believe it would not be lost on young people perhaps make them more committed to their faith.



I feel that is what the church is now losing out on and may be they should bring back the old-fashioned Mass in its full glory, I think that Bible studies should be expanded to include what I suggested above especially if they are not doing it now, I think that everyone should watch Joseph Campbell’s “Power of Myth” even if Campbell was prejudice on some areas, his understanding of the important of Myth and Meaning in the shaping of one’s spiritual life is very important. I think all of that would make such a spiritual impression upon young people.



I do believe that if one can take the time to explain things to a young person they will not fall away from the faith they grew up in but learn from it and grow stronger but one needs to take the time to do that. I believe that many young people become disenchanted with the faith of their childhood and convert most frightenly to either a suicidal cult or Islam, because I learned from an experience I had that if you convert to Islam you cannot be Gnostic and I feel that cuts you off from all life’s experiences.



It is the young minds that need to be formed and educated into a good moral life without dogmatism. That was the problem I had with a young man during my college years, who was of the Islamic Faith, he claimed to have fallen in love with me but I informed him I was not in love with him but I did enjoy our discussions, but then after a few months, our discussions turned to him trying to convert me to show me that Allah was powerful and I said God has many names and is worshiped in many ways, the only laws we need to follow is to Love thy neighbor as one would love thyself, which means have respect for people’s differences without forcing things down their throats. That seemed to irritate him so I began watching his personality and behavior.



He then came back as how Islam was a peaceful religion, and I said not as long as people in those countries still practice tribal beliefs, I told him further Catholism and other religions are peaceful religions as long as nothing is forced upon one another, in many ways it has changed over the centuries, even if it is changing slowly it must change to grow with the understanding that society changes, if a religion doesn’t do that and is dogmatic then it is not faith but fear the keeps people on their knees. And I’ve seen too many cults do that.



I had gone to an interfaith worship service a few days before and had invited him to come with me but he strongly refused saying it would taint him. I brought that up to him later asking him how could something Interfaith taint him and he said I was mistaken, that is when I mentally confirmed the two-facedness of this situation and of him, as my parents had no problem with the interfaith service and even asked me about it.



I stopped meeting him for discussions, until one day he confronted me Demanding why I refused to meet him, I replied because he was trying to force conversion down my throat and I deeply resented that.



He claimed he was not doing that and I said he was by trying to trick me with flattery and now demands, he rebutted this but I insisted that was his method pointing out certain arguments and discussions that we had recently, I told him God awakens one’s mind and soul with an epiphany not with a verbal whip.



He became so angry he started calling me “Satan’s Whore” and I started to laugh and laugh loud. He demanded to know why was I laughing and I said “You and your beliefs are very weak if you have to resort to name calling. I laugh because I am strong and I will not surrender my will to someone who thinks they can flatter me or frighten me---Now Leave Me and Never SPEAK to me again!!!” I was glad that I took precautions and had maneuvered ourselves into a public area with people around us to hear this argument. He never approached me again.



Get thee behind me Satan----He transferred from the college we were attending to another, and soon afterwards I encountered a young man who thought he was a Satanist, if you look back on my earlier posts you will find that encounter and the results.



After that as I became older and wiser, I felt that my faith as I have learned it led me to many different religious encounters, including wicca and witchcraft, Ifa, Santeria and Voodoo as well as ghost hunting, all of that was interesting experiences. And I learned the Dark side through those experiences as well.



Now I’m over 60 and in a way I’ve come home, oh not with so much of the organized religion but the faith in God, Jesus, Holy Mother Mary, St. Joseph, Good St. Anne, they remain touchstones and foundations and teachers for me. I still go to church at least once a month although with the back injuries it’s been hard.



Easter was the first time since the accident, and I found something very joyous, renewing and life affirming in the Mass. I also encountered a number of people I had not seen in a long time and it was wonderful to re-connect.



I encourage all people young and old to go to the Midnight Masses, Sunrise Masses especially for those major holidays, even do the Stations of the Cross, study the meanings behind the Mysteries of the Rosary, in many ways they are both Gothic and Goth, dealing with Life and Death and Resurrection. And if you can find a wonderfully old Gothic style Church it can give a greater appeal to it



But my Darklings, I find God in everything, if it’s raining I watch the rain and what it does, the wind, the clouds, I look up at the sky at night and admire the moon and stars, I take pleasure in hearing the birds, and watching the insects like the few bees and butterflies, even the sassiness of the squirrels, Belladonna’s forays on our walks, watching the Koi swimming in the pond with their graceful beauty, watching children play and laugh, looking at the majesty of the trees, and the beauty of the flowers, the ocean shore. They become my everyday church and communion with God each and every day and I am at peace and free.


I’ll continue this later, especially about funeral rituals and memento mori and my encounters with Anton LeVey and Jim Jones. Yes Darklings I met them, ooooh the 1970’s was an interesting time.

Later Darklings

Of Further Updates and being an Elder/Elderly Goth~~~

Hello My Darklings,

Dear Carrie and Kellie Thank you for your concerns and good thoughts, and there were others as well, again Thank You.    It really picks my spirits up.

My strength is slowly coming back although I'm still on the weak side for walking,  my appetite is also coming back but I cannot stomach much food with three meals a day, so Ella and Louise are breaking it down to 6 smaller meals, which is much easier to do.

My jaw and teeth no longer hurt, and my range of motion has improved, it is good to see that some of the bruising is slowly diminishing, but the worse ones still look ugly but are also getting better,  and things don't hurt as bad, although I still get some back spasms.

The massage therapy that was delayed will start next week, several of my friends have been coming by to do things around the garden, and running some simple errands for me, it helps take some burden off of Ella and Louise as well as Doyle and Marie.  

Doyle is going to have to go out of town on an assignment for a few days and Marie's client list has increased so that she is coming home later.   Louise offers to stay later but really once I've eaten and settled there is no need and the phone is next to my bed, both land line and cell.

The Therapist's said that although there is improvement, because of the Flu there was a little set back in gaining strength so we'll start on that again.  

One good thing is that Coralline and her parents will be coming by on Sunday, it will be good to see her again, I just hope she is not too shocked by my appearance.  But she has been worried. 

Easter is coming a week from this Sunday but all our Easter plans are on hold, we need to be sure I'm over this Flu bug, do not want a relapse.  Marie is going to be visiting her children which is good, so it will be just Doyle and me----I told him let's just get Chinese Take Out.  But he wants to take me for a drive in my vintage car, just to see things and feel part of life,  I think that will be a wonderful idea. 

For an Elder/Elderly Goth it is hard being ill, it is frustrating to be so limited and in essence confined, but having support of family, friends and a medical team helps.  

A younger (well she's in her 20's) goth friend, who is an artist came by yesterday evening, it was a very nice visit and she asked me that since young people (of her generation) go to Goth clubs and take in the action what would an Elderly Goth do?  

I told her that most of the club scene would be too frenetic for those of my age, but to at least take in what the new bands were while watching their alcohol intake, that would not be too far out of line, it is important for an Elderly Goth to realize they are not a 20 something, so trying to act like a 20 something would be ridiculous and silly and off-putting.   It's better for an Elderly Goth to inquire with the youngsters what they think of the new bands and their sense of trending.

Doyle and I went to one club a while ago before the accident,  he in his tux and I in my evening gown, most places prefer that people stand up so seating was limited but for some reason we were able to get a banquette and low table,  seems the club owner thought we'd be more comfortable so we got VIP treatment.   We had a chance to talk to some of the young people who wondered who we were and we exchanged opinions on the various drifts of music styles.   One young lady was dressed like Little Bo-Peep, she showed us a picture of her and her AK 47, the caption read  "O.K. Mr. Wolf now try and get my Sheep"   I Loved it!

We made a few connections and I loved discovering several artists and their works.   But another thing for some Goths including Elderly Goths is studying Film Noir and being a part of the Art Deco scene, as well as reading and studying written works of goth and horror writers, horror films,  Art works, as well and being into things like art and photography.  

So the trick is I told Monica, to be aware of the scene, to be in it but be separate from it as well, to be aware that one is much older and that things are not from the 1940's or 50's scene but much younger and to not act like a 20 something but to be your age but to not be disapproving or overly critical but to understand the changes in the scene.   To make connections with younger people in a friendly way but to not treat them like children.  

Monica is one example, I admire her work and have even given her funds when she was between assignments, without any thought of being re-paid, but she did in her own way repay me, she used a photograph of me when I was younger and duplicated it with some variation for a book cover, later she did a full length painting of me and gave it to me, it is very flattering.

She said she wanted to do that because I don't criticize her for her life style and in turn she introduced Doyle and I to her friends and I've helped them as well.

It is a delicate balance and also one has to have trust as well between peoples, and that also there are rules of etiquette as well.  In doing that I was able to help Monica and some of her friends become more discerning without being invasive or overbearing.   A sort of detached--attachment.   Again a balance.

Ella is saying I need to have my lunch before the Therapist gets here,   so I will write more later my Darklings.

Later.

Rain and Thanksgiving~~~~

Dear Darklings,

We’ve had rain, glorious wet, soggy, bone chilling  rain for the past few days and on and off for the past few weeks, enough to encourage grass and weeds to make their appearance while the trees are bare of leaves.



For us here in our West Coast location this is a sign of winter and winter to come as well as the bone chilling cold. Snow is appearing in the Sierras’ and if it gets cold enough will come down to the 3 thousand foot level, and if it gets really cold down to almost sea level.

For an Elder/Elderly Goth the sign of rain adds something the the Gothic ambiance of my home and garden, lots of time I enjoy a cemetery or historic home after a good rain, it adds to the mood.  The nights are longer, the evenings are chillier, time for candlelight and fireplaces (unless its a spare the air day), the shadows that are cast are longer, deeper, darker.  And every squeak and creak could herald something ..... or it could just be Doyle complaining about a loose stair tread. 
My contractor said this is a good time to spot leaks in the roof although it had been replaced several years ago, but always a shingle can work itself loose. 

But I look forward to that, to me the winter season arrives right at Thanksgiving, when the Macy’s Day Parade shows all those commercially sponsored floats, and huge balloons, when Macy staffers volunteer to be in the parade and then when Santa arrives at the end of the parade you know winter has also arrived. And the next day you can go shopping for Christmas presents.

My sister woke early to watch the Macy’s Day Parade, while I lingered in bed reluctant to leave its warmth. But up I got, cleaned up, bundled warm and took Belladonna for her walk.

The little darling will be staying at our elderly neighbors’ home, she said she was having only a few old friends coming over for a simple pot luck dinner, since all their family live far away and they too enjoy Belladonna’s company. I did warn her to not give Belladonna too much turkey.

My sister and I will be going to my brother’s house this afternoon for Thanksgiving, and then bringing Coralline back with us for the long weekend.  My sister's daughters live out of town and with her oldest expecting their 2nd child she doesn't want them to travel for now.  So Marie will stay with me for this Holiday weekend, the beauty is that there are phone lines to be in contact.


My sister in law, Monica, said that Coralline’s attitude has changed a lot since we’ve made this arrangement to have her spend occasional long weekends at my house, she said that it has made the rest of the week more bearable without all the howling and arguing and her teachers have noticed an improvement in her attitude as well, she is not so “downcast” is the best word to describe it.



And she’d like to talk to my sister and I more on this, she has gone to a consuler to discuss this and has realized that her focus on her boys and their activities had contributed to the difficulties. It will be work for Monica because she admitted that she is going into areas she is not familiar with.



My sister and I said we’d be happy to help out, but we’d all have to look at our work schedules and social lives to achieve a balance.



Monica said that when the family watched “The Addams Family” she was watching Coralline and had a “wake up” moment about her daughter. My sister in law is not dumb; she just had to have an epiphany.



I told her about the Dickens Fair and asked if Coralline would be interested in going, did not need to ask the child twice.



So this afternoon we will go to Thanksgiving dinner at my Brother’s and sister-in-laws house, endure having the T.V. set (big plasma screen T.V.) tuned in to what ever bowl game is on, you know the Rose Bowl, the Hula Bowl, the Super Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, the Turkey Bowl, the Toilet Bowl or what ever bowl is being played, enjoy good food, chat a bit (if possible over the yelling about the game), then come home to enjoy the after Turkey snooze.



I have much to be Thankful for, the only down side is Doyle has to work but I did cook a Turkey Breast last night so he’ll have his Turkey as well.



Even for an Elder/Elderly Goth, once in a while one has to see the light and humor on special days like this and enjoy its dysfunctional gathering.



Happy Thanksgiving to all you Darklings and Baby Bats.



Later.

Sparkly Vampires need not apply~~~~~

Darklings,

I’ve been busy catching up on my writing, and I’ve been pondering this thought about the “Twilight” series.


I have read the “Twilight” Series books (I made it as part of my ‘required reading’), and I can understand why young pre-teen and teenage Baby Bats and even their mothers in some cases, can be attracted to the characters as presented in these books.



Especially Baby Bat Girls---- that being said I understand why Stephanie Meyer is so clever. She certainly understands what makes a young teen age girl’s, and even a homosexual young man’s, heart all drippy with sex hormones which is perhaps the only reason why the saga has such a strong following. Without sexy immortal men what do you have? Nothing but teenage angst and how boring teenage angst is.



But as literature, serious literature it is nothing, just barely a step up from the old “Penny Dreadful’s” that Victorian Parlor maids read and shared amongst themselves as titillating reading.



My first encounter with vampires, at least fictionally, was when I read “Dracula”, far more moody, convoluted and terrifying. And it is terrifying, frightening and confusing to come face to face with one’s own awakening maturing sexuality.



But I, like Anne Rice, many years ago, was also visually affected when I saw “Dracula’s Daughter” with Gloria Holden, it was a sequel to the original Dracula. The sequel was about this beautiful daughter of Dracula who was an artist in London, and she felt drinking blood was a curse. That film mesmerized me with its beautiful, sensitive and mildly seductive scenes; even when the Countess Zaleska was dealing with a bumbling English Bobby it was sensitive.



It made the point to me what vampires were--- elegant, tragic, sensitive people but because of their being different they were public outcasts and they suffered the agony of this fact, this echoed within me, for I was the same way, I was not into the “bobby-sock” life of the teenager, I questioned things that were beyond the limited interests of the upper grade school and high school levels. In my own mildly “Wednesday Addams” way, I was different, not stupid or dumb but different and not into the teenage stuff of that time, I mean Elvis Presley and the Beatles were talented and enjoyable to listen and dance to but I was not into the adoration they generated, Christopher Lee was more my style.



I was becoming nihilistic towards things that interested the “bobby-socker” as to being meaningless, the only thing that saved me completely from nihilism was my parents and grandparents; they showed me that there were certain important things that we need to have an interest in to achieve a livelihood and that even if I felt that life was meaningless there was and is meaning within it, which at the time we cannot see, we needed to look beyond the minutiae, cease to focus on that and look at a much bigger picture and even if I did develop an atheistic outlook on life, there still was meaning.



And that is what irritates me about the comedy “Seinfeld” it focuses on minutiae without focusing on the real issues of life---if that is what makes a comedy then we as a species are in serious trouble.



Fortunately thanks to my family’s intervention, understanding and love, I never did develop an atheistic outlook, for with their help, they showed me that God Laughs with a peculiar sense of humor and the Devil takes his own. With my family’s help I have seen a much bigger picture and learned to enjoy my being an “outcast” especially if I have skills that the “muggles” need, and plead with me to apply.



But sparkly vampires????? Please Darklings…..



“Twilight” is a candy apple walk in the park compared to “Dracula” where without personal strength or protections you could be “devoured” by this fiend, but it also showed the repressed sexuality that Victorians were dealing with, as well as being subjugated to another’s will, against one’s own will.



These vampires that I grew up with were Darkness, dark evil darkness of the kind you do not want to be a part of.



Now a days we would call them abusers, trapping you in a life of sex slavery, drugs and degradation. Even Christopher Lee’s portrayal of Dracula was a warning to young women everywhere, and yes, Darklings, I’ve outgrown that presentation although I still admire Mr. Lee as an actor.



That is why I feel that the vampire’s in the “Twilight” series and others of that ilk are “lies”. It makes them into romantic “fairies” instead of the dangerous creatures they are, young people forget that vampires “feed” on you.



Physically, emotionally, psychologically and psychically.



Perhaps that is the advantage of being an Elder/Elderly Goth, we can say “Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt many times over”.



In time as Baby Bats mature (at least we hope they do mature) they will understand these things, I can understand the romanticism about vampires, one wants something elegant, romantic, even knowledgeable in this 21st century sterile, computerized, Ipod, Ipad world.



I can understand why young girls get tired and turned off on the “gangsta” look with the baggy jeans hanging down to the guys’ knees, with the young male holding up the front of those oversize jeans with one hand on the crotch area as if they have the clap and need to scratch it all the time in perpetual masturbation, and the guys overblown male macho attitude that “you’re my possession, Bi%$#!”



Young Baby Bats are not anyone’s possession, but they are their parents children, and as your parents child, those are the ones you should ask advise from, for if they are wise and loving, they will understand, but be careful of those who allegedly profess their mis-guided “love” for you, especially if their “love” is more like being possessive.



For anyone to read even the literature of “Twilight” tells me that young Baby Bats want something better than what is being offered to them, but you have to work for it, Darklings and don’t settle for 3rd or 4th best.



But “sparkly”??? Please Darklings, no Tinker Belle fairy dust.



To all you Baby Bats, admit that what you want is style, elegance, consideration of your own feelings (very important), compassion, romance, understanding and knowledge to learn from.



Baby Bats want someone that is knowledgeable, is also willing to get out into the real world, be willing to earn a living and make something of themselves, not a couch potato, beer drinking, ex-jock, but also will not manipulate you, that is very important.



But never settle for someone just because you think you can’t get anything better, you can my Darkling Baby Bats you can, but you have to work on yourself, your education, your style and never settle for anything less.



Ignore those persons that think that you are acting like you’re “Too Good” or being a “Stuck Up Bi%#$”. Any one who is trying to improve themselves and their life is not being that way and you, my Baby Bats are not. It is because these others, they don’t even want to try to improve themselves, but you do and they cannot stand that, they would prefer to drag you down to their level, and any Goth worth his or her salt or black nail polish would never, ever do that.



A long time ago I personally set those standards for myself, and along the way I did make some mistakes, fortunately nothing that I could not extricate myself from, because for me the first “hint” of surrendering my personal self, subjugating my goals and ideals to another’s instead of them being a partner or even attempting to understand my work, was enough for me to say “thanks, but no thanks, there’s the door, don’t let it hit your ass on the way out”.



I remember the first time I was seriously developing feelings for one young man, and he intimated that he was interested in a permanent relationship leading to marriage, I thought at that time my happiness would be nearly complete, remember my Darklings I was young at the time, just into my mid-twenties (many life times ago).



But then one evening over dinner at a very nice restaurant, things changed and changed very quickly and drastically the moment he referred to my work as being an “over-glorified file clerk”.



I looked at him, knowing exactly the type of work I was doing was nothing of that sort, so I asked him quiet gently what gave him that opinion of my job and work.



I listened very carefully to what he said, belittling me, belittling the job that I had to do, him saying in a disparaging way, that the pains it took me to do it well and correctly was nothing, and that it didn’t matter to the care and well-being of other people, nor to bring peace and answers to relatives.



He completely ignored me or how quiet I became as he continued talking in his “superior manner”; he was totally wrapped up in proving how superior he was and how inferior I was. That was a dangerous mistake for him to make. For in that instance the minute he started denigrating my work, my life, my choices, and more importantly even my family, he was, in my mind, completely struck off of my list of worth-while male suitors.



Taking care to not reveal my inner anger as it seethed and boiled, (trust me Darklings, it took a lot of strength of will to not want to “slam dunk” that piece of garbage into the nearest dumpster or toss hot coffee into his face), he continued on telling me about the plans he had for me to become a “nice little wifey” and raising 2 plus children, subjugating my wishes and thoughts and molding them to “his” ideals.



I smiled at him and murmured “How interesting” as I listened to him going on and on about “His plans” and “His goals” and “His ideas of marriage” and how he planned on seeing me dress in a way he “approved of” and what I was to do and cutting my work time to hourly and then eventually my giving up working to raise “HIS” children.



He was completely unaware that the more he talked the more I became silent, saying nothing to him, he was completely caught up in his monologue of his plans for “us”.



Eventually he saw me home after I suffered though a very tedious and upsetting evening, which he thought in his mind, was going just perfectly. While I was suffering through his selfish, self-centered snobbish soliloquy, I planned on what I was going to do to let him know My displeasure.



He walked me to the front door of my apartment and as I unlocked and opened the door (I was living in court type apartment complex) he asked if I was going to invite him in as the night was warm, and the water in the courtyard fountain was splashing gaily, I stopped before I entered and looked directly at him and suddenly with a snarl on my lips said “Never more!”



I quickly went in, closed and locked the door. When he recovered from his initial shock from my sudden explosion of anger, he proceed to bang on my front door for a good long while calling my name, pleading with me to open the door so we could talk and “work things out” as the neighbors leaned out their windows telling him to shut up before someone called the police.



While he was banging and yelling at my door, I wrote out a note describing his faults, his selfishness, and why I was breaking up with him, I then dressed in a black filmy nightgown and robe.



He was very persistent, completely intent on not giving up, and continued for a long time assaulting my front door despite the threats from my neighbors to call the police, I was upstairs by this time and from my upper bedroom window that was over the front door I saw that the police had arrived. How perfect I thought.



As the police officers talked to him to try and find out why he was having a case of “Love Labors Lost” I opened my window and sweetly called out to the police officers “Hello Officers” I said, catching their rapt attention.



They all looked up at me in my romantic and sexy filmy black night gown and robe, and their mouths hung open at seeing me dressed so, I could tell they did admire my assets, as a matter of fact old Mr. Miller from next door, could see me quiet well and gave a “wolf whistle,” Mr. Miller might have been old, very old but he wasn’t dead yet.



I apologized to them about having to come out to deal with my rejected suitor at such a late hour and appreciated their assistance, as my neighbors also leaned out their windows enjoying the spectacle and watching how things were playing out,



Then I called out to my erstwhile suitor and with two pennies in the envelope to weigh it down I tossed the note to him and said again quiet loudly “Never More!” closed the window, closed my drapes, turned off my bedroom lights and went to bed with a smile on my lips, a contented sigh and a slight chuckle emanating from my throat as I heard the police officers saying to him “Let it go Buddy, she told you to leave. Are we going have to march you down to the station?” as he was sputtering “She can’t do that to me! I have plans for us!” but I heard Mrs. Byrd, my other neighbor, call out to him, “Well Sonny she certainly didn’t have any plans for you!” and old Mr. Miller laughing and saying “Good for her!” as peace returned to our small apartment complex.



For weeks he sent me flowers, candy, and small gifts. I returned the gifts, as that was only right, I sent the flowers to my neighbors, to hospitals and convalescent homes and took the candy to work to share among my co-workers or gave them to my neighbors as peace offerings. Especially to Mrs. Miller, who laughed when she found out the reason for Mr. Miller’s verbally descriptive admiration for my form.



Several of my co-workers said they would be sorry when the candy would stop arriving.



He contacted my friends and family pleading his case, in the hopes that they would persuade me to “see reason” but I had told them why I refused to see him again, they understood my side of it and relayed the information back to him that I refused to be in touch with him ever again.



Eventually he sent me a letter saying I didn’t understand him and again saying he could make a good living for both of us that we’d be happy with. I made a copy of that letter that I cut into sections and with each of his arguments I had written rebuttals underneath for each section and told him that he did not understand or appreciate a strong independent woman who has her own goals and ideas in mind nor did he show any willingness to compromise or work in harmony.



A person like that, I told him, is only an Egotist, full of his own self-importance and over-inflated sense of entitlement which he did not deserve nor earn.



I saw him some 18 years later, he had grown fat, hair had thinned, his wife meek and mild, his children were selfish money grubbing teen age brats, and altogether neither of them happy, the shocked look on his face when we ran into each other was enough of a reward, as he remarked that I had not changed a bit, and I saw in his face a wish that he had not “blown his chances”.

There have been other men, and although nice enough, they had faults and still had that attitude that women were women to ‘wait’ on men. Although not to the degree that my erstwhile suitor had, and all were let down gently.

It’s been years my Darklings, I am my own woman, and Doyle is a perfect companion, he knows I need my space but I also enjoy his companionship, we see things the same, but in some areas we have differences, small but there to make things interesting. As the song goes “I’m a little bit country, he’s a little bit rock and roll.”

But I still prefer my heroines to be strong and take charge, not Bella’s weak willingness to become Edwards’ helpmate. Bella’s overriding passivity is in distinct contrast to other fairytales for teen girls that have been popular in recent decades—in which the heroine’s encounters with magic open up much wider fields of possibilities.

If I had read the “Twilight” series as a young girl I would have said “Yuck!” yes Darklings, “Yuck!” and I would have seen it for the fairy tale it really is, my Mother told me that fairy tales are just that, “fairy tales”, in real life there is no “happily ever after” but with the right person there can be a measure of happiness and contentment but to be prepared for life’s ups and downs.

She directed my interest to the Brother’s Grimm and their fairy tales told in all its grim reality. We’d read them and I’d ask her why did the step sisters do this or why did Blue Beard do that and she’d tell me why. For those fairy tales were tales of survival and code of conduct and how to be pro-active.

So my Darklings, sparkly vampires need not apply.

As a matter of fact the Brother’s Grimm stories were more to my Goth style and perceptions of society.

I mean what a delicious name----Grimm.

Later Darklings

Just Being Lazy~~~

Oh Darklings,

There are times when it pays to be lazy, this was one of those days.

I took the ferry in as early as possible to the city to work, worked till past 12 and then came home.

Oh that doesn't sound like much but once in a while one needs a mental health day, and I had put in for it.

It was mildly warm in my weedy back yard and Belladonna was enjoying her sniffing around and then decided to just laz a bit in the warm sun.  She was so relaxed that it gave me an idea.

I called the Claremount Resort Spa to see if I could get in for their dinner hour and I can,  and I've also booked for spa treatments and a mani-pedi this weekend.

I know it sounds so indulgent, but Darklings, how can you be a "Queen of the Night" if you do not indulge in something even a little hedonistic.

One of my Darkling friends says that her indulgence is to have a mani-pedi, then to go to the See's Candy store and buy a 1 pound box of chocolates and slowly devour them over a weekend---she only does it every 8 to 10 weeks, lots of times she doesn't even finish the box so she'll have one piece of chocolate before retiring for bed, then when the box is empty no more until she goes and gets her next mani-pedi,  the rest of the time she is so good.

Another friend told me that she loves getting a massage, she doesn't do it very often maybe once in 3 or 4 months, but for her it's like being on a short vacation.   Another indulgence is aromatherapy, trying different scents to achieve a perfect mind set.

Another friend of mine goes star watching with some friends of hers,  they pack one of those small tents and folding chairs and bed rolls, they look through their telescopes and she just looks at the sky and has her ear buds on listen to soothing music on her recording device as she views and marvels the night sky,  it's even better when there's a meteor shower.  It during that time she feels one with the night and she tries to bring that feeling into her home.

And for all you night lovers, that is something you may want to consider, finding the perfect place to watch for meteors, away from the ambient city lights,  now don't do it alone, go with some friends, or find a group that does it.  Sit back watch and be one with the night.

Now Darklings,  I'm going to get dressed and go to my personal dinner date.

Consider being lazy Darklings, its a wonderful idea.

Spring time for the elderly Goth~~~

Hello again Darklings,

The weather here cannot make up it’s mind if it’s winter or spring, it’s cold and yet fruit trees are blooming, winds have picked up which is Mother Nature’s way of pruning off too many blossoms so that the fruit is not overwhelming the branches by its weight.

But because of that, once again our thoughts turn to Spring…Ahhh yes, the time of renewal and re-birth and income taxes and property taxes….no matter what Darklings you can always find a down side to things.

But what is an elder Goth to do when things turn to Spring Time---I say ENJOY IT!

Take a page from the Catholic Church which seems to enjoy suffering and guilt, this is the time of Lent, of depravations, wearing sack cloth and ashes, I went to church on Ash Wednesday, (a day full of woe) to receive the ashes on my forehead, for me as an elderly Goth it is not so much for the man who will die on the cross as it is remembering all those of my family and friends who have gone before me and to rejoice knowing that where they are it’s much better than this earthly existence of wars, cruelty, selfish and self-centeredness and extreme consumption. And so for 40 days I will enjoy my period of mourning and remembering.

Then go to church for Good Friday services, enjoy the aspect of the suffering and death of the Man and remember that we all suffer.

Then on Easter Sunday get out your Dark Purples and enjoy the fact that we can celebrate being Goth.

Yes dark ones, enjoy it. For this is the time for yard sales, rummage sales, antique fairs, art wine festivals, all things outdoorsy.

By why??? You ask. Well how are you going to find all those wonderful darkly gothic things to add to your wardrobe or your home. This is the time to start hunting at Estate Sales and everything.

During the Christmas holidays such sales are rare with the exception of some Estate Sales, but most things outdoors are in hibernation and you’ll never know what to expect.

I went to one that had all kinds of old and I mean ooollllllddddd catholic religious things and bought everything, of course I kept the best for Moi but that which I wasn’t too fond of or I had something similar that I liked better I put on my Dinning room table and called my friends and said “Guess What”, I wanted them to have first refusal and what didn’t sell I used E-Bay and made more money for more Yard and Estate sales.

Also if you are planning to repaint the interior of your home, with the warmer weather you can open windows and allow the fresh air in without ‘gassing yourself’ out.

You can go to wine tastings and find all that dark vintage wine whose color reminds you of blood.

Eventually with the return of fruit bearing trees you can indulge in dark, dark Bing Cherries, dark raspberries and loganberries, deep rich dark plums, you can even plant a “Dark Garden” purchase all those roses and irises that have dark petals and foliage. Have your own “Cemetery Garden” or “Mourning Garden”, one of my friends has a “poison garden” with plants that can be poisonous (animals and children are not allowed, “too dangerous”), another has a garden with carnivorous plants like the Venus flytrap or the pitcher plant (all those that are legal to have), even an all white or grey garden or a garden with night blooming flowers. You will need to do some research but it’s possible.

Now when you go out into the sun light always wear sun block, use makeup that can prevent sun damage, a large hat to shade your face and use a parasol (preferably in black) to keep the sun off of you, always sit in the shade if possible. I have one friend who looks for things in cotton but in black if possible, but she discovered that she can be Goth even wearing white or cream color clothing. Just look for her skull, crosses or bat jewelry. Another wears various shades of light grey with splashes of pink, red or pale coral, as she says “all hints of blood” in her darkly way.

Depending upon the type of event and the time, you can enjoy things just before sunset, such as the beach or Amusement Park Boardwalk.

Some of my friends will walk or tour the red woods especially going up north to the Trees of Mystery or touring the “Avenue of the Giants”---as one of them says, “How often can you walk through the interior of Redwood tree.

Some of my friends enjoy walking along our local beach starting just before twilight; it becomes very mysterious and darkly romantic---unless you come across a homeless person.

When the weather is warm you don’t have to have bar-b-ques during the day, start it at twilight and dress up your yard with ‘fairy lights’.

All it takes is a little thought and planning, some people during the day will have a picnic in a cemetery, just put flowers on the graves that you are going to be sitting next to and look like you are caring for it.

I and several friends have done picnics and we have almost always have found a grave or two that appears to be not attended to or lonely, so we clean it up and put fresh flowers, it may seem morbid but you really are inviting the dead to dine with you.

Lots of time it little children’s graves, they have been dead a long time and we’re sure the parents must be dead, we have even taken to having some head stones repaired because we felt sorry for the little ones. So your picnic can have a two fold purpose.

This is also a perfect time to take in all those Film Noir Festivals and wearing your favorite vintage clothing, I had the pleasure of going to one here in San Francisco and saw Angie Dickenson, and last night I went to a book signing and had the pleasure of having the most recent novel and my first edition of “Interview with a Vampire” autographed by Anne Rice.

Another event I love to go to is the gun and knife shows, not so much for the guns (and knives) although I find them fascinating (I even own several), but there are also dealers who sell other things strange and bizarre, one of them sells fossils, minerals and insects incased in heavy plastic, right now I have one of a black scorpion that I’m using as a paper weight.

There are art deco shows with wonderful vintage clothing, accessories and furniture, you can even take a tour if it’s offered in your area of cemeteries and columbarium’s.

There is one place called “Dark Apple Tours” that give tours of places where people died in New York City.

But many of these events occur between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m. so Darklings you will have to venture out into the sun. Don’t worry you won’t turn to dust, but feel alive as you pursue all that is dark, Gothic and glorious.

Of Ghosties & Ghouliess---the inner Goth

“Of Ghosties and Ghoulies and long legged Beasties, Good Lord Deliver Us!”

Isn’t that a wonderful sentiment, it’s like discovering that the earliest collectors of fairy tales was named Grimm, wonderful last name.

Today is Halloween, All Hallow’s Eve, Samhain and what other names that is associated with this Day and Night.

For the Mundane people it is one night of the year that they can let their strangeness out, but for the Elder Goth Halloween is 364 days of the year---After all there is Christmas and it needs to have it’s own day. It’s really hard to live Christmas 365 days of the year, except in good fellowship spirit, which even an Elder Goth should maintain, after all Snarklings we do have to get along with all the “Muggles”.

Of course you have to decide “Addams Family” or “Munsters”. Frankly I prefer “Addams Family” but both shows and even the iconic cartoons of the Addams Family did show and practice family values. The Munsters took in a niece that although they secretly pitied because they thought she had a disadvantage, they still loved her and protected her, and she loved them because she knew they loved her and always watched out for her, even if the rest of the world would run in horror.

In the Addams Family T.V. show, there was one program in which a wealthy young man who tried to be a rebel ran away from his father and the family wealth. The Addams’ took him in, accepted him as he is, and demonstrated it to his father who learned to accept his son and his son accepted his father. O.K it was overly simplified, in the real world it would be a very hard lesson to learn, but the messages were always there, and done with a smile.

But I love Halloween because it let’s your inner Goth come out with a vengeance.

The trick is how does one maintain it all year round, you start with little things and slowly build up to your inner Goth, with me it was easy, as a child I wore what my parents bought me, the red plaid jumper, the black patient leather shoes for Sunday best wear, but as I got a little order, especially when I was 13 and 14 I started my inner Goth without realizing it.

I loved classical music, so saving up my pennies to buy the classical record albums that were on sale at the nearby drug store was not consider unusual, I would read ghost stories, and even the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boy mysteries, like the “The Clue of the Phantom Showboat” or something like that…not unusual. But I kept my slacks and skirts to dark blue or black, which could be a little hard in the 7th and 8th grade as Mom wanted to buy me a print skirt that had little poodles on it with the background as being in Paris, it was the thing back then, she wanted to buy a pink skirt, but I spotted one with a soft light gray background and I suggested it to her saying that it would go with any color blouse I wore, she could see the wisdom in that. So I had a poodles skirt but NOT in pink….compromise always worked.

Later on in high school I realized that it wasn’t wise to stand out too far, you could be improperly labeled, that still happens to day but for other reasons. So I had to suppress my inner Goth with dark blue, gray and in the spring even a few pink and white blouses and blouses bought by well meaning family members for my birthday or Christmas.

Then I discovered in music my Uncle’s 1920’s and 30’s Jazz and Blues collection, in old 78’s, I had fun with that and in high school my Mother and Dad decided that the baby furniture that I grew up with was too babyish for me, of course by that time I had a baby sister and it was perfect for her, but there was no money for new bedroom furniture for me, what to do….Again my Uncle who was a widower and my Grandma came to the rescue, my Uncle moved in with Grandma after Grandpa passed away. His wife had died some years before and he was rattling all alone in his house, Grandma all alone in hers, he packed up everything, sold his house and moved in with Grandma, but he had this vintage from the very early 1930’s bedroom set.

It was perfect! And although I still had pink wallpaper in my bedroom, the wall paper had tiny harps and filigrees in silver, it was a perfect combination. And her dresser set all black enamel with silver chrome decorations, also perfect. I still have it to this day, except for the wall paper. But that is when I discovered antiques and art deco vintage could satisfy my inner Goth.

And that is how one does it by degrees….unless one wants to go all out and build either an Addams Family or Munster House, which several couples have done, and not an easy thing to do.

But for today, just today on Halloween to all you “muggles” let your inner Goth come out.